This milonga usually takes place in the Balhausballhaus Walzerlinksgestrickt or occasionally the Balhaus Rixdorf, but the day before it was moved to the Werkloft, a smaller but still large room for dancing above Tango Loft. Michael Rühl was DJing. Had I remembered that another milonga was on - Bailongo - I might have gone there to see another venue as I had already been to Tango Loft twice. I was curious in any case to find out where, besides Roter Salon and Villa Kreuzberg, there might be some dancers aged over 35 (women, not just men). I thought this might be the place.
On Saturdays in Tango Loft there is a milonga with a mix of traditional and alternative music. This coincidence of two dances in the same building is apparently uncommon. I went downstairs two or three times to have a look and every time it was alternative music. I heard a trad vals played on one occasion but it was so slow I didn't really see the point.
I arrived early at the milonga, about 2130 and there were only two or three couples there. There are lockers near the entrance for coats etc. The Werkloft has its own bar. I ordered wine and water. There is a, I think single bathroom on that floor or there are the separate facilities downstairs in Tango Loft.
Michael is a very experienced DJ and we chatted for a while about music. He was helpful, knowledgeable, patient and very open to my questions about music and dancing in Berlin. We danced a very strong, late D'Arienzo tanda that I don't think I knew. Two of the tracks were by D'Arienzo cover bands. I asked Michael why he used cover bands. He said because the songs were very good but had not been recorded by d'Arienzo himself so if we wanted to hear them in the D'Arienzo style then we needed to hear them through a cover band. I preferred one of the cover band's songs in the Caló version though it's easy to prefer the things you know.
The room itself has seating on four sides. It is too long for invitation by look to work easily. Characteristic of many Berlin milongas it is also very dark. I asked Michael about the lighting with regard to cabeceo. My understanding was that he thought it was acceptable for men to ask directly for dances and for women to refuse. I thought this a very direct view and suggested that many "walk-up" invitations turn into poor dances since the men who do this often cannot get dances by or are not experienced in invitation by look. Though it may sound psychologically counter-intuitive, I think good lighting and cabeceo actually makes it clearer who really does want to dance with who. He did respond to this and I think the general idea was that invitation and acceptance by look is not an art that is universally practised in Berlin.
At first I sat in the area outside the dance floor, again to see where people would sit as they arrived. Later I wanted a table before they were all taken so I took a corner seat by a light in the bottom right hand corner of the photo where I had a good view of the floor. My first partner walked up to invite me. Partly because I still sometimes find it awkward managing these situations and also because it was the last track of a Fresedo tanda, I agreed. If you accept this kind of invitation, you might think the last track of a tanda is the best possible time to accept. At the end of the track he stayed on the floor which I took to mean he wanted to continue. I dislike staying on the floor during a cortina. Not especially wanting to dance more, I moved, indecisively off the floor to the side, hoping he would too. This is the stage at which things become even less clear. I find it difficult - a "thank-you" after one dance, even at the end of a tanda is still a clear snub. So unless you are not troubled by these pangs or unless you want to risk dancing five tracks you may not want to dance it may be better not to accept the last track of tanda from someone who walks up! The next tanda was a milonga I didn’t like and I found it easier to say so and return to my seat.
There were a lot of good tracks, also quite a few that I didn't know or don't hear that often. There was a Demare/Berón I know and quite like but haven't played, Que Solo Estoy and a Demare I think that is less well-known: Corazón No Le Digas A Nadie with Horacio Quintana in extravagant form. There were some good, well-known Caló vals, there was a Canaro tanda, a bit later there was Pugliese-Maciel with I think Y Todavia Te Quiero and Cascabelito neither of which are much my thing for social dancing. There was a D'Arienzo milonga I liked and a Di Sarli that didn't do much for me though it was well known - something like El ciruja and A la gran muñeca. I remember dancing a great tanda shortly before I left. I think it was a Tanturi instrumental with maybe El buey solo (the intro is my ringtone!), Una noche de garufa, Argañaraz - those sorts of friends.
Another guy walked up to invite me. I did not look up but realised that, as with the previous guy, since I was the only woman in that area I could not easily look away without causing him worse embarrassment than a straightforward refusal. Tango Therapist in a recent post mentions addressing this problem as a sort moral responsibility (my term) or as "attitudinally intelligent behaviour" if you prefer. So, regretting my earlier decision to accept a walk-up invitation, I did look at him, in some confusion, which of course then leaves you with little option. It is particularly difficult to refuse someone who has walked around a room to where you are the only person because a refusal could hardly be more public - but then I feel that by walking up they make things difficult for you. None of it works this way. Still, of the half dozen or so walk-up invitations that I accepted during my week in Berlin this turned out to be one of two that I did not regret.
In complete opposition to his chosen style of invitation, the whole focus of this man, who was considerably smaller than me, was a particular and lovely kind of care of the woman. It's very hard to describe the feeling he created. I've only ever felt it, perhaps less than a half dozen times. This is sadly rare in dancing tango. If guys are taught, why isn't the focus more on protection, care, respect? Perhaps it's because - how could you sell these things? And frankly I have no idea how you might teach what he conveyed. His style of dancing was not quite mine but it was fine and in any case it did not matter at all, this feeling was enough. I did not encounter the same feeling in quite the same way again in Berlin. We danced one tanda.
Most people in this milonga came and stayed in couples. I noticed two younger girls but overwhelmingly the dancers were over thirty-five or forty, many considerably older. Later on I saw a couple of guys I would've liked to dance with but they were in couples and not or barely changing. The dancing was mixed, but got better as the evening progressed and more people arrived. I thought there was quite a lot of nice dancing. There seemed to be a degree of fluidity - people came and went more than is usual in a milonga. I think the dancing downstairs contributed to this.
Later on a French group of teachers and friends arrived. They were from Nacer tango. I had seen and spoken to them briefly in Roter Salon and in Nou. They always seemed relaxed, light-hearted, laughing and happy. Somewhere, perhaps in Nou, very late when they would not cause disruption on the floor, I saw three of them dancing in the middle, one behind the other, like a train, all facing the same way, all synchronised. They were fun. Nacer introduced me to Katarina and Ulrich who teach in Berlin and run Tango Safari a child-friendly tango holiday in Rome in May and Poland in July. They both have young children like me. We all danced; it was a nice end to the evening. I left not long after 1AM.
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