Milongas in Amsterdam

Amsterdam can be a tougher place to dance than the rest of the Netherlands, being often said by the Dutch themselves to be a more closed milonga scene but this is often said of big city scenes in Europe compared to dancing in the provinces.

On the other hand there are more milongas than in other towns and they are all bikeable.  There are probably more experienced dancers here in one place and the music I heard in the milongas was mostly from the Golden Era, though that is not the same things as saying it was all the mainstream, popular, traditional music that many like to dance. You might also hear tandas from each side of the Epoca D'Oro but you are much less likely to hear non or neotango than you are outside Amsterdam.

Making a weekend of it

To make a weekend of dancing you might go to De Plantage (review) on Friday (2215-0200). Dancers were perhaps aged 35+ but most were older than that when I went. I heard another option is the new El Berretín milonga. I see that there are different milongas on a Friday at the Academia de tango.  I got the feeling that is a younger crowd than De Plantage but I did not meet many who mentioned it when I was asking for recommendations.  Ditto, Fenix milonga. Both of these are on Tangokalender.  

There are actually a few different milongas on Friday but there never did seem to be, whenever I checked, much on in Amsterdam on a Saturday night.  It's a shame they couldn't move a couple of these Friday night milongas over to Saturday.  That, and not finding a single Airbnb in or even for miles around the city for under £100 is what decided me to go to Antwerp instead to hear a DJ who had been recommended:  Jo Switten.

On Saturdays in Amsterdam there is sometimes, or used to be Milonga Lounge.  I heard from a recent visitor that the milonga had stopped but it is still advertised on Tangokalender (advert here) though the website mentions no milongas. I enquired about the DJing there once but the performance style pictures (and here) and the fact that no locals I knew ever mentioned it as a place to go put me off. Video. From that it seems quite a young scene, especially the women.  Tangokalender shows one or two others that pop up occasionally but don't seem to be regular and nobody ever mentioned them.

The only other option was Tinta Roja run by Lucas whom I met in Edinburgh where he once DJd . The music then was very mixed for me thought there were some great, classic tandas.  But he seemed a nice and friendly guy and I regret not taking him up on his offer to look him up when I was over. According to his Facebook page, he has a free practica 17 till 20hs and a milonga on the first Saturday of the month. Few Dutch I met mentioned this practica but a UK friend of the host said the dancing on the night it became a milonga was the best they found in Amsterdam and that the vibe was young and informal and she thought the music was great. More about El Berretín and Tinta Roja soon.

You might also consider milongas outside Amsterdam for a Saturday night.

Later  I learned many good dancers apparently go out on Sunday when the top four milongas take it in turns.

El Cielo (review) - first Sunday

La Bruja (second review) - second Sunday

Tango11 (review) - third Sunday

TangoTerras a/h IJ (review) or De Plantage (review) - fourth Sunday. The De Plantage Sunday edition starts at 1830 and goes on for 5.5 hours. I heard it attracts more people from outside Amsterdam than the Friday night version.

I also danced one Sunday afternoon in the Oosterpark (review) which is a free summer milonga. Gorgeous setting, seating inside the bandstand, terrible floor, iffy music, free ice cream!

Top milongas, top DJs, top venues

La Bruja or Tango11 are reckoned by many locals to be the top milongas in Amsterdam meaning they have the best dancing.  The video about the encuentro run by the host of La Bruja was the spur for me to go to the Netherlands in the first place. I should say that of any milonga I have contacted, this was the least responsive in that when I enquired about closures in August and September, about needing a ticket for Tango Train and possibly another earlier enquiry I never did get any response.  Certainly at La Bruja the first time I went there seemed to be plenty of good guy dancing - but I was already apprehensive about going and could get none which made me shut down to the guys sharpish. On that occasion I danced with the women instead who were warm, open and good dancers.  I had a nice time.  Many people, including good dancers from within and outside Amsterdam told me they don’t go to either of these milongas but especially La Bruja because of a perceived closed atmosphere.  Some of those who do go from outside said it took a while for them to be accepted.  Depending then on how you rate your prospects or the kind of experience you are looking for you may or may not want to risk one precious evening there. 

La Jirafa (Jacob) in La Bruja was the best DJ I heard for traditional music in Amsterdam, followed by Age Akkerman in El Cielo. See the piece to follow on DJs in the Netherlands.

The most traditional salons (in layout) were El Cielo, La Bruja and De Plantage and as venues I liked them all. They all had good floors.  None of these are places were there is much standing for invitation, particularly among the women.  There was some among the guys but not in a bunched up, desperate, pushy or intrusive way that I have minded in other places still less the girl standing and loitering at the cattle market experiences of the milonga weekends I have been to.  There were a few guys standing around the bar in De Plantage but when do guys not stand around a bar?  A few guys stood at the short entrance end of El Cielo one or two trying too hard to invite and girls and guys stood around on the short, entrance end at La Bruja, mostly in a natural, social way or because they met and chatted with people when moving around the room.

I think in Amsterdam despite how the guys were the first time I would like La Bruja best if La Jirafa were DJing because of the music, the venue with its good dimensions for invitation by look which is pretty much exclusive there; tables and seating, good illumination, good floor, good dancing, elegantly dressed people and the nice bar.  But because of how it was the first time I would have to steel myself to go to that milonga in its regular Sunday slot  and we all know that steeling oneself is not the way to go into a milonga, so I am not sure.  Still, for all those reasons it is an interesting place to hang out even just to watch, if you can make your mind easy with that.

Many said Los Locos on Tuesday night is good. I have not been yet. I hear it is a practica til 2130 and then becomes a milonga. The impression I had from people is that the feeling there is warmer than at some of the other Amsterdam milongas.  Other than that there doesn't seem to be much in Amsterdam, midweek.

Dancing in the Netherlands - an overview

Photo: P.J.L Cuijpers

The articles to follow are what I learnt about dancing in the Netherlands over three trips in August, September and December 2016.  I have been to about a dozen local milongas in the Netherlands, some of them more than once. All impressions are merely that of a visitor. George Orwell was probably more reliable than most of those reporting on the Spanish Civil War by dint of the fact that he fought there and was acutely aware of the deliberate propaganda and the merely lazy and hence inaccurate reporting of the facts.  Yet he said, wonderfully:  I warn everyone against my bias, and I warn everyone against my mistakes. ('Homage to Catalonia')  I hope some of mine might be corrected by those who know better.

The big dancing centre of El Corte is not mentioned because I have not been.

Reviews of Dutch milongas I visited.

What’s on: Tangokalender was most often recommended and has a useful sorting feature showing which milongas are on closest to a particular town - great if your geography of Dutch towns is vague. There is also Torito. 

Pictures of some Dutch milongas on Ojo Oscuro. 

What happens when nowhere is far away

No city is very far away in the Netherlands meaning you can explore milongas across the country by train much more easily than I find is the case in the UK, where milongas are often in village halls sometimes only practicably reachable by car. However, the Dutch who travel any distance to dance outside their locality seem to be in the minority.   I asked one DJ if she had come far for that evening. She said, Yes, twenty minutes.
- By car?
- No, by bike.
I heard this kind of response about staying local confirmed in Amsterdam, in Utrecht and for the Nijmegen area from which one may (only cautiously) extrapolate.

However, because many towns are nearby and some people do travel - at least to the next town with a milonga - it is not difficult to find someone you have met previously - especially in well-known milongas like the Waterlelie (review) in Leiden or the sell-out Oranjerie milonga in Arnhem.  I find this to a much lesser extent with UK milongas where, largely because of distance, most dancers tend to stay local - and a few travel far.

There is though quite a divide between those who dance in Amsterdam and those who generally don't. I sensed it was in some cases almost ideological, on both sides - that isn't how we dance, isn't the music or the atmosphere we like.  But if so it was done with a typical tolerant Dutch shrug - It's just not my way; it's their way, that's fine.  The Dutch are so non-judgemental that, as in California I found it can be hard to get a true opinion, an actual view in the flow of "anything goes".

That divide that nonetheless does seem to exist between Amsterdam and the rest of the Netherlands is no bad thing.  It becomes difficult when Utrecht for example seems to have a few milongas but no milonga I heard called really traditional and from what I saw at the end of last year seemed to be struggling to get one going.  That means that Amsterdam and perhaps one or two other milongas will suck in the dancers from, say, Utrecht who are seeking a more traditional experience until a more balanced scene catering for different tastes become more widespread.  Or perhaps not - people may compromise some preferences for what can be a more relaxed atmosphere outside Amsterdam.

The dancing population of the Netherlands as a whole seemed quite large to me. You have then a whole country with a well-connected airport, easily accessible internally by public transport and bike, with many milongas, a lot of dancers, a fair degree of cross-pollination between milongas, an apparently co-operative local milonga scene (after all, they organise a festival of the regular Amsterdam milongas), DJs from nearby countries like Benelux and Germany and a generally very laid back population. It is an attractive proposition - and that is before mentioning that the men are tall and the women embrace in a close, relaxed and natural way. 

I found biking in Amsterdam to be unquestionably the fastest and easiest way to get around between milongas though in that city you need your wits about you. Biking I found superlatively good in the Netherlands generally.  I biked and trained a lot. See Biking in the Netherlands. I heard on my last trip that there is also a bike-hire scheme at local stations which means it is getting easier for visitors to participate.

Meeting people

Openness in the Netherlands does not necessarily in general mean warmth and openness from the get-go in the way that you do feel that tactile warmth in Buenos Aires and in southern cultures from men and from women. Certainly I found the Dutch far from unfriendly and within three trips I was offered overnight accommodation at least three times. Openness to the Dutch I found means that they may be more willing to talk about most things openly. In actual fact I find the British as much or more open though one's access to one's own culture makes it hard to be objective.  Despite what the politicians say class and the related problem of social inequality is in any case still so rife in Britain that it is difficult to generalise.

I found the Dutch independent - they like it, they respect it and expect it in others. Is there anything the Dutch don't like to talk about? I asked a tall Dutch girl.  We met in Dundee airport but she lives in Aberdeen. Money, she said and I sensed later there was truth in that. Characteristically though, the Dutch will be open about the fact that they are not open about money.

In the milongas I found many Dutch happy to chat. While most did not make overtures to a solo visitor this is characteristic of many milongas and some certainly did. I mean social chat, not walk-up dance invitations. But if you want to meet the Dutch in their milongas, as in most places I have been, you the visitor might well have to initiate chat yourself. 

I found and heard from many Dutch people that the Amsterdam milonga scene is quite closed. There can be good dancing but the attitude is not necessarily especially warm towards visitors. The 'Northern Mischief' (visiting separately) also found this, certainly in one milonga. There were exceptions. The hosts of TangoTerras (review), La Bruja (second review), El Cielo (review) were all welcoming to me but I mean the dancing population. For example, De Plantage (review) on Friday I found a quiet, reserved place as you might expect for a late-starting milonga for older locals but some people were certainly pleasant - socially - to a visitor. It was not a cold atmosphere there. I did not feel invisible there as I did the first time at La Bruja or at Tango11 (review). To an extent you make your own destiny and at slightly chillier places or places where the women are putting the work in to get noticed you may also feel you need to work harder to get noticed - if, that is, you think these things should be about work and putting that kind of 'effort' in and you have the temperament for it.

On the other hand, milongas outside Amsterdam I found more laid back, socially.

Swapped roles 

It was quite easy to dance with women in Netherlands. It is not that I saw many women in swapped roles - I did not but they all seemed to twig quickly to invitation even from a woman they did not know and many were interested.  Gratifyingly, some seemed interested in me before I was saw them.  It's so different girl interest from guy interest.  Girl interest is very liable to mean nice dancing.  Guy interest very often does not!

I rarely saw guys dancing together. They seem to do things quite conventionally in the Netherlands, which surprised me. Maybe that was just chance or perhaps tango attracts the more conventional people in Dutch society.  That said, I saw one of the best dancers I have ever seen in swapped roles in El Cielo (though she danced both) - and virtually all she did was walk. Girls, huh!   I think there's a lesson there, for the more adventurous and open-minded gents - or those who just really want to learn to dance.

Invitation

In the milongas I went to everywhere in the Netherlands invitation was mostly, but not wholly by look. More often, if you chatted with a guy, I found he was very likely to invite you, but as everywhere the better the dancer, the less this happens. I can’t say though that I had much chat or dance with many great dancers but I was probably just cautious because I went to many places, I was alone and there was a lot to take in each time. I look back and find I danced with a handful of great local guy dancers over three trips.

Up next: Milongas in Amsterdam: making a weekend of it and a visitor's summary of the top milongas, top DJs and top venues

Trust in the milongas: a high-risk game

The next Brain Game (see previous) was about trust. How strange! I thought - two tango-related subjects next to one another. Later I realised that many mind-related subjects are connected to interpersonal relations which is what the milongas are about. 

The programme set up a game between two strangers who are offered a case of money. Each person is given two cards one saying Split, the other saying Steal.  Each player can choose to split the money or steal the money.  Each player shows the card indicating their choice at the same time. If both choose Split, both get to share the money. If both Steal, no-one gets the money. If one player Steals, only the Stealer gets the money. Most couples, strangers remember, chose to Split. The famous point was made that we are built to co-operate. I remember a friend years ago trying to explain game theory to me and saying that society can only tolerate a certain number of freeloaders. 

Here was the other interesting bit. The programme went on to say that when we trust, the brain rewards well-placed trust with the release of oxytocin. It is a reward system for trust. The programme said: Trust is like a currency. You build up this currency by being reliable, generous and consistent. You spend this currency when you trust other people to reciprocate. Trust is the glue that holds the structure together

Yet when you trust a guy you don't know not to crush you, hurt you or do  rough, uncomfortable or just plain creepy things to you on the floor, none of that trust has been built up. And it isn't just that he is doing those things to you.  If you the girl on your side are committing to a real dance you are giving yourself to him, trusting him to take care of you, so much so that you could hardly be closer to him, that you are even trusting him to take care of you while you close your eyes.

Some girls will try anything once on the basis that trust has not yet been built up.  They are giving the guy a chance.  But if it is unpleasant they tell you and sometimes you even see they do indeed become suddenly much more discriminating towards that particular guy.  This is the kind of girl who knows and acts in the belief that look is not feel and there is truth in that, though less I find as I get better at looking. With a knee problem I can’t risk that approach even if I wanted to. So how do you trust a guy you don’t know? You watch very carefully and for quite a while, everything he does on and off the floor. 

And that is also why second, third, fourth chances just don’t work. I find this true in life and dance.  A guy who wants a second chance in my experience is almost guaranteed to have no idea about what it is that makes the two of you incompatible and it wouldn’t be my place or my inclination to say what that is especially when  they don't ask. Very likely he may not have twigged you didn't like it though he may just get you aren't keen the way you were before.  Yet these types are not curious at all about why you were obviously trying hard to avoid his look or whatever his way is of trying to get your attention.  In any case they just want a second chance thinking that somehow their awesomeness will blow you away.  Very often, if you don't give them that second chance they may try to demand your attention which reveals even more of those true colours and ought to warn you that you were right in your first instincts.  If you mistakenly agree, they are liable do something else that make you remember why you dropped them after the first time.  And if you give in to second chances they can lead to third, fourth endless versions and all you are doing is compounding an incompatibility.  Men are simple creatures, said the Northern Mischief in different conversation.  But it is true a lot of guy psychology seems to be of the Me, Tarzan! type, to do with needing to be awesome, which is a huge blindspot.   

The programme finished by saying you can manipulate trust to lower your conscious awareness. I thought of guys who "lower your conscious awareness" by walking up, unexpectedly to invite women, who ambush you with invitation, or who blindside you. Or they manipulate you as I was manipulated in De Plantage by a tall man in braces with a rogueish smile coming to stand right in front of me and staying there, grinning, while I squirmed uncomfortably and gave in to what turned out to be - predictably - insensitive handling.  They must think we are stupid - that we don't know how things work, or that we are blind.  And we confirm them in those beliefs by accepting them.  Duh!  Don't do it, girls! 

Bizarrely though, the programme said this manipulating  of trust to lower your conscious awareness was a good thing because you miss opportunities through mistrust. This is where things fell apart for me. Some so-called opportunities are worth missing.  One person's opportunity is another person's enfer. I think the programme was saying: don’t always go with your instincts. Look at that key word though: “manipulate” trust it advises.  Manipulate.  Never a good scenario, that. 

Trust is based on experience and experience in the milongas tells you to look, watch and make an assessment about when trust is worthwhile. So I’m sticking to my guns. If some of us miss those close connections that might have been good dances because we don’t trust enough, or we don’t think the risk is quite worth it, maybe it is simply because of a combination of having an expectation we want met, knowledge of what the penalty feels like if it is not met and simply not enough experience in judging the gap between look and feel within the available time and over the numbers present.  What is going on there seems pretty complex to me so I am going to stop beating myself up about taking a long time to recognise as compatible for me guys I don't know in foreign places and missing dances.  If anyone else finds themselves in that boat, I hope you do too.

One last thing about those expectations - it should be obvious that everyone's expectation of what they want is different to their neighbour's. Yet I have found in the milongas it is a real giveaway when somebody says something which clearly assumes you ought to lower your standards to theirs. You ought to dance ‘socially’ as in “you ought to embrace him as a social duty” (!), two men diminish the leader pool by ‘selfishly’ dancing together, things of that sort. That is very likely to be the sign of someone who thinks they know what is best for you and others at which point the thing I know is best for me is to disengage because to point out the disparity to them could only be in very poor taste.

Tango, Travel and Happy Hormones (or not)

Until lately I thought travel to unknown milongas was a good thing. It got me out to milongas and heaven knows judging by the "I haven't seen you in sooo long" 's I don't do much of that in Scotland. Going away I met new people, sometimes even danced. But it was getting harder to do.  I was having fewer bad dances, true. I was getting better at spotting, by look, guys who would feel good but I was dancing less and less and it was stressful somehow. There was the worry about figuring out, within a limited time, who the good dancers were from a packed room of unfamiliar people. There was trying to avoid guys who walk up to invite and there was the stress as you realise that with every tanda you don’t dance the guys are thinking: Why isn’t she dancing? And then there was the worry they think you are too picky / too snobby / can’t dance / won’t dance / are just too much hard work, when after all, so many girls are nice to dance with and are on the edge of their seats waiting to be asked. I am not even long-dancing nor have any "technique" to speak of but given that attitude perhaps I just need to get a cat, a hunky lover or move to Buenos Aires. 

But aren’t we supposed to just control our attitude and everything magically turns out fine? A lot of what happens to you depends, we know on one's own state of mind. If one goes to a milonga closed, nervous, cross or stressed or becomes like that while there then the connections with people in dance or chat are, to state the obvious, unlikely to flow so well. It is not an easy thing though to walk into an unknown milonga alone and mentally hold your own while you are not invited by the guys you want as for example happened to me in La Bruja and on Thursday in El Cielo. Still, I have a lot of resources: I don't get bored listening and watching; I love milonga chat and find it easy, not to mention the experience of other cultures and at least some languages. Even so, I don't know that I could walk in again and again to unfamiliar milongas if I didn't have at least the option of switching roles. You reassert something in yourself when you get to invite, to dance, something that gets crushed when, as a girl, you are ignored, not invited or feel invisible to the guys you would like, or - worse - start to fall into the paranoia of suspecting the indignity of being invited for a "pity dance" from one of these.  On the other hand the few milongas there are with great music or even ordinary milongas with just a few decent tandas have often transformed my mood.

Tonight, my husband called me to watch something with my kids. I love the cinema with the kids, but I can't bear watching the rubbish the three of them will, left to their own devices, watch on TV at weekends. Yet within minutes and for the first time I was hooked. The series was I think a kids science programme called Brain Games. It said that the brain doesn’t like unfamiliar situations. It produces the stress hormone cortisol when faced with them. It said when the brain is faced with familiar situations it produces oxytocin, the happy hormone, the love hormone - something along those lines. 

It crossed my mind: have I been punishing myself in going to all these foreign milongas alone? Is this why so few girls I know do this - because they are sensible and obey their natural reactions? Is it a cortisol reaction that is making it harder to go to these unknown milongas? Is my body saying: Unfamiliar, scary environment, low payback, don’t go there! And how come - if familiar makes us all warm and fuzzy - I, like so many others say secretly  - don’t love my local milonga scene? I have become one of those picky tango people who travel. I console myself that when I travel I prefer the local milongas. I haven’t (?yet) sold my soul to be selected, abjectly, by marathon and encuentro organisers on the basis of my /nationality /age / clothes and (but seriously!) Facebook friends. 

I guess I do it for the challenge, the interest, the novelty and the chance of enjoying it though even that isn’t necessarily the main driver. I wonder what those hormones are called because I guess it isn't the same thing happening as with oxytocin rush induced by familiar situations. It turns out, said Hannah that, strangely, the reasons I travel to unknown local milongas are very like the reasons she is a mountaineer and fell runner. “Unknown milongas are your mountain tops” she said. Maybe I mentioned before that besides having two kids and a job in a completely different field she has a PhD in brain science. I’ll ask her what those hormones are called that make us do what we do.

Gezellig etc

After El Cielo in the Dokzaal Pieter wanted a change of scene for dinner before his train but everywhere we looked for food seemed closed. It took us ages to find a place we both liked that was open.  We found Cafe Koosje on a corner of Plantage Middenlaan that was something between a restaurant, bar and pub.  I was ravenous and we had as kind of shared starter, but apparently inappropriately, bitterballen.  Pieter said it was more what you have as an early evening snack and I suppose it was heading towards 8pm.

We seemed to spend a long time in this place where the atmosphere either was or was not gezellig.  Later I found out it was knus.  Doesn’t gezellig mean 'cosy'? I said, ever curious about words for feelings for which there is no English translation. Like 'hygge' or 'gemütlich'?  It appears not.  Gezellig seems to have a bit more pizzazz to it. The way Pieter explained it in straightforward Dutch manner, the Dutch are loud so gezellig plus loud is the Dutch version of 'cosy'. When on another day I asked Dutch-speaking Sebastian for his take on the term he illustrated it by saying the atmosphere on particularly that Wednesday afternoon in El Cielo had been gezellig.

As in Cambridge, I had overdone things. Dancing swapped in the embrace with a beginner guy in a very busy ronda of a milonga one does not know with dancers in front and behind whom one does not know is in my experience just about the hardest thing a girl can do and as it nearly always does it had taken it out of me.  Then there had been the sightseeing and the lateish dinner.  I couldn’t face going out again and as in Cambridge skipped, not without reluctance, the evening milonga run by Corine's team from La Bruja.

I had been before during TangoMagia and knew the Duif, a former church in central Amsterdam, to be, aesthetically, a lovely venue though I was not sure now what I would think of it as far as good conditions for a milonga.  I mean for instance the size of the room.  I remember lighting being good but the room being large with rows of seating one behind the other and it being not necessarily easy to see across the room for cabeceo.  Three years though is a long time and I could not now say any of this with certainty. My main memory of that evening in 2013 is meeting Franc who I found out later organises the Oranjerie salons in Arnhem.  We danced two tandas.  He struck me as modest, a nice guy and a marvellous dancer - one of the best dancers I had encountered at that time.

Duif is pronounced more like dowf only the vowel sound is softer and more nuanced than that; you need to hear it from a Dutch speaker. The DJ was going to be Jacob El Jirafa whom I had enjoyed hearing at La Bruja the first time.  I expected the milonga in the Duif to be very popular and thought it would be mobbed which the next day I heard had been true.

I had seen Jacob's soubriquet  written as El jirafa and La jirafa.  Which is it if it's a guy? I asked Enrique by email.  He said:  the correct way of writing it is "La jirafa". A male giraffe would be "la jirafa macho". Although "El jirafa" for a DJ even if not grammatically correct doesn't sound wrong and is quite catchy.

I knew Enrique because some mutual friends had put us in touch when I had been looking for Spanish conversation before going to Buenos Aires. He wanted to learn to dance so he could dance socially with his wife.  He had been to some milongas abroad to watch but had not enjoyed classes.  He liked the idea of learning more naturally.  What this meant in practice was that he came over one weekday evening, met the boys and we chatted over a cuppa in my kitchen as I cleared up the boys' tea because if we had not got on it it would have been a no-go. I doubt either of us could embrace in dance someone we did not like no matter what the arrangement.  But we did get on and went more naturally to the milongas in Edinburgh once or twice to dance in swapped roles.  I know how easy it is to slip into and stay in one language but he was very good about chatting away to me in Spanish even while I, able to say more than I did, but lacking confidence, replied in English.  By the time I got back form Buenos Aires Enrique had wisely left Scotland to live in sunnier Spain. He was a lovely guy and a natural dancer, really good and with all the right instincts.  Since then I have learnt a lot about dancing with beginners, including beginner guys,  especially how to slow things down as with new dancers they can tend towards the opposite.

Tango Train - Arrival and El Cielo Cafe

El Cielo cafe and bar, looking from the entrance towards door to the dance salon

In December, shortly after Christmas I went to the Tango Train milonga festival in Amsterdam because:

• There were lots of regular milongas
• There were no classes
• There was variety of hosts and venues
• It was easy to get between the milongas (I hired a bike)
• There was no registration. You could just turn up.
• There was no list of dos and don'ts, which I think are unnecessary and set the wrong tone
• There was variety of dancers and they were not the hand-picked preferences of encuentro and marathon organisers
• Because there were no classes it attracted social dancers, not class dancers
• Being just milongas, it was relatively cheap
• It was in a city, with other things to explore and a good place for a solo dancer not to stick out, compared to in e.g. Sol de Invierno which I also considered but which was hosted in a village.
• Many Dutch men are tall
• I knew one or two Dutch people who might be there
• In general I liked my experience so far of Dutch people and culture!

My husband had kindly given me the hotel points he accumulates with work.  I stayed then, feeling very lucky and very pampered in a smart hotel bang in the centre with lounge breakfast and evening drinks/hors d'oeuvres included.  If that had not been so, Amsterdam accommodation being so expensive, I doubt I would have gone.  Another version of this kind of festival of local milongas would be great in a cheaper city with a good vibe.

I was delayed in my plans to get to the El Cielo afternoon milonga on Tuesday 27th but went anyway to meet Albert at the cafe there for dinner.  He said to hurry up - there were a lot of extra guys that day.  In the event there was not much time left to both have supper and dance.  The salon looked nice and from the cafe DJ Oliver's music sounded good.  I knew that Oliver can no longer dance and it was sad but instructive to see his choice of track on his DJ page, Tanturi's La Vida Es Corta.

 This milonga ran in the afternoons of the Tango Train festival.  The cafe here was run by at least two different catering outfits changing over on different days. One was the CousCousClub  with the intriguing rubric:  Couscous and cocktails, slow food and fast fun. There was also, a picture of a naked woman.  It seemed very Dutch.  Prepare to be confused!  There were vegetarian and meat options and the other company provided something similar, I forget what exactly but I think there were some nice looking salads. The food was simple, cheap, popular. You ate it at rustic trestle tables with other dancers. 

Albert told me he lives in Friesland right in the north of the Netherlands but said he is moving to near Utrecht to be more central for tango. There will be trains that will get him back from out of town for 0130. From that location he will be able to dance all over the Netherlands.

In the cafe Albert introduced me to very tall Hans from Friesland who, amazingly, remembered me from TangoMagia some years before. "You picked the guys" he said and I smiled nervously wondering "What does he mean?", remembering that I probably had been fairly overt at that time. But Hans seemed amiable and easygoing. Then he said - we were all sitting down:  "You are very long, no?"
"Yes" I said, smiling.  Albert told me Hans has a milonga up there in Friesland.  I think it is the Salon Amarillo in Leeuwarden.  I liked Hans. He was careful in what he said and very quiet.  He was a nice dancer I found later.  We all discussed the options for the evening. There was Los Locos which many people had told me about, run by, among others, Wim who I knew.  There was some kind of tango-art milonga which had a lot of people interested on Facebook but did not interest me much and there was La Bruja.

I wanted to see if it was going to be as difficult there with the men as last time. I did not want to feel crushed by that milonga.  If milongas were like people I wanted to feel I could look at it full in the face and not be the first to look away or to leave it on good terms or at least to walk away without feeling beaten by the guys there.  I just wanted to see if it was going to be possible to have a good time there with the guys as well as the girls.  Why does entering some - many - milongas feel like being a stranger in a cold, unwelcoming land, even when the host does not seem to be like that?  Also, that contrast is unusual.

Luckily, on this evening, I was not alone.  Albert, who has danced for years surprised me by saying he had not been to La Bruja and Hans had been I think only once so we decided to all go. Albert had his bike too so he I and cycled part of the way together until he went to get his car.  Hans wanted to dance longer until the end of El Cielo so we me him there later.

The house on Chile

Of all the stories I have wanted to tell about my trip to Argentina, top of the list is the one about the ten days I spent at Juan and Josefina's.  I wrote recently to Juan mentioning a friend currently in Buenos Aires.  That correspondence and the fact that in Barcelona I will soon meet Hellen who was one of the house guests brought everything back.

During the trip I planned to stay in three different places all in the area of central Buenos Aires called Balvanera.  I chose three places because I knew that if I became committed to one place I did not like for three weeks it would spoil the trip.  I was curious, besides, to see different corners of the neighbourhood and to meet different people.   I might have booked a place for the first ten days and chosen where to stay next while on the ground, but being alone, in an unfamiliar place very far from home and where I did not really speak the language I was cautious and did not in any case want to spend my time looking for accommodation.  I wanted it planned out in advance and to know where I was going.

The house on Chile between Alberti and Matheu was the first place I stayed.  In Buenos Aires people often omit the "street" or "avenue" part of a street name.  It was walking distance to most of the milongas I had heard about.  Janis gave me invaluable advice in this respect as on much else.  She said:  you need to be close to Entre Rios between Rivadavia and Independencia. So that is where I started looking, and no further west than Avenida Jujuy.   I considered  hotels, a studio, a tango house - all places people I knew had stayed.  I nearly did book a tango house but I have had a lot of success with Airbnb and especially in Buenos Aires wanted to be around people with local knowledge.  The first place I really liked turned out to be - though I did not know it then - a block away from Janis.  She went to see it and sent photos of the neighbourhood together with much other useful information.

Photo on the right by Janis

I liked my hosts immediately and soon trusted them. It was one of those instinctual likings that was, if anything, confirmed when Juan cautioned me in his polite, calm, explanatory way about security after I made a mistake with the door lock.  After I left, an iron grille was installed on the door.  I saw Juan much more than Josefina who works as an English teacher.  So Juan had most to do with the house and tenants and came by usually in the late morning or early afternoon on many of those ten days. 

I often heard dance tourists say that "security is the same in Buenos Aires as as in any big city”. I did not much believe this before I went and when there could see plainly - and made a point of finding out - that it is not at all the same. Security was a big deal. I trusted three people on that subject: Chris in the UK and  in Buenos Aires, Janis and Juan.  I am glad they all in their different ways made their points. 

Juan (right) with house guests Hellen and Bruce

The same day I arrived, Juan and I were soon deep in a conversation about Buenos Aires, and the history and culture of Argentina/  This continued during my stay and afterwards because I met both him and Josefina after I moved on.  I was delighted when Juan hailed me on Belgrano one day and we went for coffee in La Ochava.  Josefina I met for coffee in a bar notable near her work in San Telmo and once near the end of my trip I took a friend to meet Juan and discuss property.

Rianne with Josefina

I was often offered strong, dark real coffee in the house.  Chat with Juan ranged over topics such that it felt a bit like how it is to drink strong, real, unsweetened coffee. The photo above is the only one I had of him and I had none of Josefina until my friend Rianne went to meet them yesterday and took these. As I knew she would Rianne felt the same about the house.  She said: I loved the place...those patios, the quietness. Juan was occupied with a guest when she visited but she said: I loved Josephine within a minute...like the ideal mother and so much more. 

Juan and Josefina

The house was simply a haven. I have said before that even with Janis' kind guidance, at first I found things in the city and the milongas confusing and disconcerting.  It was a matter of being in a very different place with insufficient language skills for good independence and far from my children.  But no matter how nervous I felt on the street, nor what happened in the milongas, the house was another world.  There I felt relaxed, safe, secure and let the atmosphere there mend my confidence, frequently dented outside.

During the day I wrote, often in the conservatory, or talked to Juan or other house guests or tentatively I went for shopping or cash or explored the streets or went on walking tours. Some afternoons and every night I went out with, strangely, fewer nerves, walking between the milongas and the elegant, unostentatious golden house that I was always happy to return to, often writing again at the desk in my room in the early hours.  

Janis in the fruit and vegetable shop; Jose Luis (lower picture)

The house was well located too. Janis showed me around the neighbourhood. She seemed so well-integrated in the neighbourhood.  The street was quiet.  Around the corner on Independencia there was a fruit and vegetable shop (also a butchers) run by lovely people, including  Jose Luis who is learning English.  The fruit and vegetables were excellent and cheap.   I never found a shop I liked better for that.  After trying the steak, most of the time I, like Janis, stuck to salads and fruit

There is a bakery nearby, and a health food store selling nuts and dry goods run by helpful brothers Martin and Ezekial. There is a well known bar notable, Bar de Cao on Independencia, an asador (for takeaway roast meat) three blocks west of there and the usual kiosks for phone and transport cards, regular supermarkets and Chinese supermarkets. 

El Español

There is a neighbourhooNot far away was a restaurant, which was recommended several times called El Español. I went once, near the end of my stay.  The lassitude of the heat and many late nights, even for something as simple as preparing food, was stealing over me.  I felt uneasy and conspicuous in a place packed with locals but the waiters were pleasant and correct, the food was nice and the portions huge. It was the only proper restaurant I went to for a meal apart from lunch with Janis in the must-see tourist trap of Cafe Tortoni when, out walking, we passed it. For the most part I made a salad once, sometime twice a day or ate empanadas from cafes. Only men I noticed tend to snack in the milongas.  With so much novelty around to experience, with fruit and vegetables so good and freed from the requirement to cook for family, food held little interest.  Between that, walking dozens of blocks (cuadros), daily and dancing I discovered when I got home and my mother greeted me appalled, that I had lost about a stone effortlessly.  I was delighted.

The house was fifteen minutes walk to the milonga venues I seemed to frequent most often: Gricel to the south and west on Tuesdays and Thursdays and Obelisco, south and east on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and walking distance to all the central milongas and milonga venues: El Beso, Plaza Bohemia, Nuevo Chique, Lo de Celia, Los Consagrados, El Arranque, Confiteria Ideal. Of these latter, I liked Milonga de los Consagrados best, on Saturday afternoon and evening in the airy venue  Centro Region Leonesa. 

The house on Chile was graceful, simply furnished, elegant with the beautiful tiles and the glass and ironwork so characteristic of Buenos Aires.  I saw it used for a few hours as a set by a modelling agency.

Entrance towards conservatory

Conservatory towards kitchen terrace

Kitchen and terrace outside

There were several connected terraces down one side of the house, giving on to the rooms. My room was large and airy and gave on to one of these terraces. I had my own large bathroom, a walk-in closet, an iron and ironing board and a large desk. I was initially interested in another room but took this room on Juan's recommendation and was glad I did.

My room and terrace

Main living area

Towels are not normally provided but being used to them provided in Europe I had brought none and they were given me.  There was no washing machine available at the time I was there but there is a laundry service on the street nearby.  My room had a fan but the house was cool and even in February I used it only occasionally. In the room there was a comprehensive and useful guide, a mix of tourist and practical information that my hosts had made for visitors.  Lucy, trusted by the family for many years came to clean the house once a week.

Juan is an architect and he and Josefina, who teaches English and sounds like a gentle version of one of the calmer Radio 4 presenters, raised their family, now grown up, in the house. These days they live in another part of the city and the house on Chile provides rental income. They were and are keen to have tango dancers to stay.  Juan’s father had danced, elegantly he said. Their children dance. Sometimes he goes to La Glorieta an outdoor milonga to watch. 

It is hard to describe how nice it was to be around Juan and Josefina. Like the house, they are quiet, reserved, unostentatious. They are warm and kind, never overly demonstrative.  It was a great antidote in some ways to how surprising the milongas could be to someone fresh from Europe. The men in the milongas in Buenos Aires can be lovely to dance with but trust some of them or give an inch in any sense that is not actually dancing at your peril.  This includes what you allow to be discussed between dances, per "What does your husband do?" or even keeping hold of your hands between tracks. I was told by someone who knows him that a milonguero viejo had said the only truly correct subject for chat between dances was music.  Sometimes I could see why.

Juan seemed to find particularly distasteful the broader problem of trust generally in Argentinian society and the related issue of corruption in Argentina.  I was always aware how I was treated with genuine courtesy and respect by him and noticed how thoughtful he was of Josefina. It was so unlike the means-to-an-end respect one can sometimes sense in a milonguero. Juan listens attentively, is reflective and considered in his replies.  Josefina is kind, non-judgemental and understanding. There is a sense of calm and of reliability about them. When George Eliot writes about the virtuous characters in her novels one has a sense of what at that time the contemporary examples of politeness, courtesy and kindness were like.  That is how I think of them.

Janis thought I was nuts to be going on anywhere else. Things were ideal.  She was right but the other places were already booked and I did not like to cancel. 

I also visited a couple of pleasant tango houses and heard about dancers, nice or interesting people, people I saw often in the milongas who had flats to rent or who hosted guests. Even so, I cannot recommend enough the house on Chile as a place to stay, so much more than just a place to stay. 

You can contact Juan and Josefina via one of their Airbnb listings (in the name of their son) or by email.

Janis

I probably would not have gone to Buenos Aires if it weren't for Janis of Tango Chamuyo. Two almost missable remarks got me there. How significant the small things can be, even from people we do not know.  The first though was from Chris and happened in chat about music and dance:

F: I do mind them dancing tango to non tango tracks!

C: Well, I never have that problem. Because if I see them dancing non-tango, by definition they are not dancing tango.

F: :) You're such a literal guy. Do you not ever feel you make the world fit your view of it!?

C: Get thee to BA.

F: No way!

C: Fair enough, but then keep in mind that you and I are not viewing the same world.

F: Don't harry me! It would be lonely & scary & very likely demoralising & unsuccessful. I'm not ready. Let's not talk about it.

C: Sorry. I was not really suggesting, more making a point. Because it really is an important one. To people who really dance tango, those people "dancing tango to non-tango" are not dancing tango, even badly. They are dancing non-tango.

That conversation and others related to Buenos Aires dogged me for over a year, though I forgot about the "I was not really suggesting".

The second was something Janis said later in a reply to a comment of mine in her blog. It was something like "When you come and dance with the milongueros in Buenos Aires..." The remark just assumed I really would in a way I had not considered. It was after that that I decided, despite all the misgivings and the obstacles that I should go and soon, while there still were the milongueros Janis wrote about.  Without Janis and her blog I probably would not have gone to Buenos Aires, or at least, not then.

But I did not know Janis except via her blog and I did not want to presume anything by contacting her and asking for advice. I remember that came up later, when I was there about something or other, I forget what:

- But you didn't ask! she said.

- I didn't like to! I said.

- I was expecting you to! she said

She is that ready to help.

This is how I got in touch with her. Once I had virtually decided to go to Buenos Aires Chris was the obvious person to ask for advice:

F: Have you advice about the trip, the stay, anything? 

C: Top priority is security. 

F: From mugging/street attack? 

C: And the rest.

F: Is that common? 

C: Yes, very. 

F: Everywhere? I remember reading that Janis walks about at night. 

C: Second priority is: ask Janis' advice. Esp. on good (inc. safe) accommodation. I would stay with an English speaker who understands [about security].

F: Do you know anyone? 

C: Janis is the one to ask. 

I had confidence in Chris and he, who is careful, had it in Janis. So I did. Still, I did not really expect her to answer a stranger, just as when eighteen months previously I hadn't really expected Chris to reply, when a year after first wondering where to find a copy of a foxtrot some guy had mentioned on the internet I finally contacted him to ask. I could not have been more wrong about either of them..

Janis when I met her was a force of nature. She is tiny, very petite and it was astonishing how much strength of mind, personality and will could fit in such a small frame. She was interested in everything and everyone related to Buenos Aires. She chatted to lots of people on the street, in shops, in the neighbourhood. She talked to babies. But she did not talk much in the milongas.  There, she listened, she watched, she danced. In fact, though she might catch up for a few minutes with a friend here or there, she did not seem to like much chat in the milongas. Sometimes she introduced me to people or made an advisory remark.

Janis's blog is about other people. It celebrates other people. In her apartment she had lovely photos of her parents and I thought she should tell that story. She had an attractive collection of small objects. I think they were stones with words on them which were meaningful to her but I could see they also related to tango and to life and I thought that would make a lovely post. She seemed to see that too but she shied away. I don't really talk about myself in the blog was as much as she would say. And that is true. But there is no false modesty - she appears in photos with her friends, but her posts are about the city, the concerts, events, the milongas and the milongueros.

I cannot begin to say how kind and helpful Janis was. She told me so many useful things before I went to Buenos Aires I could not say them all here. She arranged for me to be picked up at the airport by a well known milonguero and came too.  She showed me around the neighbourhood, lent me cash til I could get some and came with me to get money - luckily, as the place had moved. She went with me to the milongas in my first week, even showed me where the ones she didn't plan on going to were.

I already knew from the blog that she spoke her mind but I think many people admire and respect Janis for telling it straight, for saying what they would not necessarily dare to, for standing up for the manners and mores of the traditional milongas, for alerting foreigners to these and for keeping them up to date with the people and places they love to meet and to visit.  The posts about the changes in the milonga Lo de Celia after the sad death of Celia are a case in point.  It is well known how much Janis loved that milonga. It was the first one she took me to. We went three times in five days. Some of her posts talk about it like home and family but when it changed and became unrecognisable from what it had been, she moved on. She said she adjusted "faster than it took to walk from LdC to Obelisco. I put the past behind me and embraced a new tango home."

When we went out to the milongas, she always looked top dollar and she did it all on a shoestring. 

Janis gave advice, told stories, answered questions and took me on an excellent walking tour incorporating history, tango and architecture. She kind of just said one day that was what we were doing and I am so grateful we did.  She is knowledgeable about many aspects of Buenos Aires as well as about the milongas and the dancers. 

She had thought I would blog every day about the trip but I said probably not, that I liked things to settle though even I did not expect it to take a year. I notice it is a year to the week since I went. She offered as soon as I arrived to arrange for me to dance with a famous milonguero in a private lesson. I did not want to offend her nor foreclose wonderful opportunities but I had to explain that these days tuition in tango was "against my religion".

I dreaded explaining this though I should have realised straight-talking Janis probably respected honesty. I felt if I gave in on that, even with a famous milonguero I would be faking everything I danced with him, withholding myself from the dance and lying about any enthusiasm or interest I showed. I would hate myself for that and it would be disrespectful to him. It had to be a real dance in the milongas or nothing. I didn't say any of that but Janis seemed to understand. She proposed something else with him instead, which was fine with me. She knew on this and other things, like her I had my own way. She just accepted it and let those things be. 

I am not sure now if I would do the same again. Some men teach and make you "think dance" and you don't learn but some men just dance with you and you do learn. There is a big difference. But I still have a problem with paying someone for something that is about feeling between you. If you pay them it is necessarily going to be fake. On the other hand, I felt there is something wrong with a western tourist turning up expecting to learn for free from a milonguero in Buenos Aires. I am not sure I thought things through like like this at the time but I did feel things would get sorted out in the milongas.

Recently I told Janis I was going to write finally about the house I stayed in on Chile.  A friend writing a book about tango was in Buenos Aires and it was bringing it all back. I asked Janis if I could mention her in the blog. She said "By all means, tell people that I live a block away and am available for walking tours, etc. I started a free and open tango class on Thursday from noon to 3:30 for anyone who wants to join me.  I had understood it was a class for women and asked for clarification.  She said, What started out as a women's only class is changing.  We need men who want to learn. One woman asked if a friend can join us, and I said of course.  I'm inviting friends who already dance to give the women practice." 

As it turned out, my first dance in the milongas was with that milonguero but I was by then so keyed up and out of practice it was disastrous in that I felt stiff and embarrassed and in the spotlight.  Though he was most courteous and invited me again later I finished it on the verge of tears at my nerves and inability to dance.  While she might have been surprised that the world did not move for me, I guess Janis was not really surprised, given that I had turned down that opportunity to dance first outside of the milongas, to get used to new things.  She is very clear-sighted.  She didn't make a big deal of it.   I imagine when Janis, talking about her new class says friends she means or includes Argentinians so I think her project sounds interesting.   And I doubt it would be anything like a European class.  Besides, the men dance very differently to a lot of dancing in Europe and if you are anything like I was when you first arrive, especially if you are alone then it might be a good thing to have that experience before going in to the milongas.  Apart from that just meeting Argentinians is a lovely, warm, experience - and I liked too meeting other tourists and expats who come again and again to experience the milongas of Buenos Aires.

Janis is vegetarian. She lives very healthily. She looks amazing. Her indulgence is very dark chocolate, especially organic dark chocolate which is hard to get in Buenos Aires and can't be posted. The best I know of is from The Raw Chocolate Pie Company.

Even on that she thinks about others when she could have just considered herself. She wrote: A friend of a friend arrived a few days ago from the USA and brought along a box of Green & Black's bars which I ordered in August for my local health food shop. The guys were pleased to have 85% chocolate for their customers.

Kinky boots

Recently, my friend was telling me about the roaring fire at the Poema milonga in Liverpool that I have wanted to go to for ages, not least because she goes, Bill goes and I love to dance with him, Pablo DJs and I hear he is good, the venue looks nice and some people say Liverpool is the next big thing for tango in the north.

- Very 'hygge', I said

- Indeed...had to look that up You know how I live in a bubble.

- I don't! You are out there exploring all the time

Ramsbottom itself has history, walks and is a good place for food. When I sent that piece to the same friend who had been to that milonga weekend (review) she said with characteristic frankness and fun:

- You completely failed to mention this place... Do you recall the film "Kinky Boots'? I think it was based on this mill.

- See, what bubble?!

- I'm very clued up on certain aspects of life...

She can make me laugh before midday.

- And there was I thinking ought I to have mentioned Robert Peel.