A desperate stance

The good news is that telling people they’re not good enough - that their dance naturally deteriorates with time instead of as with most things we do naturally improving with experience is a last-gasp effort. When the suggestion is the non sequitur that people who enjoy natural dancing are “too proud” it is obvious there is an ulterior motive - money.  

Criticising something as personal and individual as the social dance of someone experienced, particularly a dance you haven’t yourself felt, particularly the dance of someone you yourself have taught yet blaming any supposed flaws and "bad habits" on them and not you, is a desperate stance.  It suggests falling class numbers as people realise the better dancing, the better learning and most of all the greater pleasure in learning a social dance is to be had by dancing socially. Such dancers realise that it is merely a small but tellingly vocal group who to try to monopolise how people learn this dance (in class), which process all but destroys new social dancers. That process makes them “think dance” which for me is not what dancing is about, not what allows, not what frees the things that do make dance happen. The shrill counter, that "Oh, it (i.e. moves) becomes muscle memory" is spurious. That just means a dance initiated through "thought" not feeling is one which has becomes automated and robotic. A dance that is thought out, drilled in, constructed of steps and moves is not a dance that comes from the music and so is not really, not usually, for me, dancing, not at any rate dancing tango.

The dance seems to me more and more an expression of character and of the various wordless interactions of two people.  Although it happens in a social setting it is a personal interaction - one which has nothing to do with a teacher. When you criticise their dance, you criticise and undermine their character and that personal interaction.  Unless such comments have to do with him hurting her or lecturing her (and lecturers don't criticise lecturers - they beget them) what place have they?  And surely she is the one to let him know.