Insecurity

Some people do doubt themselves, or rather allow themselves to be manipulated into doubt by the "teachers" they might do well to be rather more sceptical.  So here is my reply to that:

It's rubbish. And it's scary. It preys on feelings of insecurity. It creates feelings of insecurity and vulnerability in order to exploit that. That is what gets to me and what brings me to object. What kind of person does that?  Usually someone who wants your money or who wants you to feel bad, or who is going to look down on you. You think, "Well this teacher talks to me about embrace, may even grace me with their embrace - surely they cannot be doing that for cold-blooded commercial reasons. "Tango" [sic] is a "community" after all.  Of course teachers get paid but that isn't what it's really all about".  But sometimes - often - that is what it is all about. It appears that you are being helped: "Very good, but well, lots to work on...." but really you are being undermined.  They’ve used you parasitically, taken your money, can find no more takers and now in an attempt to keep milking the original source they try to create new demand by making you feel uncertain and inadequate and therefore in need of more lessons.  It is a particularly insidious kind of deception.  It is ruthless and relentless for sure but I can't even call it a jugular attack. That would imply a swift death.  No, it is more like a feeding on an unsuspecting host. Do you really want to dance with, to learn from someone like that?

For me, a great guy dancer does the opposite of that. He makes a girl feel safe, secure, special, he makes her feel that she is doing all the right things. If she trips or stumbles perhaps he acknowledges it in a way that says, wordlessly, “Are you OK? It's OK.” It’s not a guy who says - “You can’t dance because you don’t have the right skills because you got lazy and fell into bad habits and were too proud to go to class.”