“All of the six loves of the Greeks are connection”

“All of the six loves of the Greeks are connection” -  quoted from here. I think I see many of them in the milongas.

Janis, wrote that the milongas are full of ludus, in particular and I agree.

Saying you are going to a milonga via a Facebook event I think is telling people you want to make a connection with them. But what is the point of hiding behind a general placard: “I’ll be there” or the even more non-committal "I might be there - unless something better turns up".

Telling someone in some way that you value them and hope to see them is a risk in a way especially if it is over-interpreted. But if the milongas are largely about ludus I think the risk of over-interpretation is low. Besides too much attraction - eros - is distracting in the milonga. Ludus is what I find in the people I like to dance with. I feel so honoured when someone I meet at a dance wants to stay in touch, meaning: I like you, I liked dancing with you, I hope to see you again.

On the other hand, one of the things I enjoy in the milongas is how you never know who will be there and who won’t. At good milongas there may be many favourites and new people with whom one is likely to enjoy dancing. Because of that one can remain and know that others remain entirely free, needing to make no commitment to meet.

Commitment - perhaps not so coincidentally, like vulnerability - is a double-edged sword and one of the nice things about ludus is how non-committal it is and how low risk. But non-commitment is another of those things that also also cuts two ways.