Trouble in school

August Heyn

In a class, generally, you sit back and are told, you are mere receptacles. You do as you're told. Questions tend to be awkward or a threat unless the teacher has had them before and knows how to 'deal' with them. And it is often "deal with" as opposed to "answer".

Mentees probably aren't much good in an environment of formal education. They have too much independence of mine, they are anarchists, renegades, rebels, in a word dangerous. 

2014

A: know we like and dislike different tracks which I think is as it should be or the world would be less interesting, but if you think a track isn't good and I haven't spotted it I don't like not knowing! This is why I always want to know.

B: Goodness, what nuisance you must have been at school :)

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I went back to school at the end of 2021 to see about a Spanish qualification.   I was thinking of teaching French at the time.  Someone said, You'll need a Higher (like the first year of A-level) in a second language.  Do Spanish.  I already had some Spanish and the school had previously said they would let adults do certain courses. 

At first I was occasionally sitting in with a class of 16 years olds preparing Highers.  I was bored to tears and eventually came in just for the double periods.  The teacher was correct, polite.  But I was dogged by a feeling, not from the students, who just tend to accept things, that I was weird, out of place, a problem. 

The teacher talked and talked.  They were experienced, liked by students, respected by colleagues. But there was no interaction, or only when the teacher picked people to answer short questions.  

I appreciated the school accommodating me but the time in that class was so dull, limiting, miserable, demoralising and scary.  I felt intimidated because in some way I never quite understood, despite being the student, I felt like a threat.  Then I felt ridiculous for thinking so because I was practically silent the whole time.  

There is a song by George Brassens called Je me suis fait tout petit (I made myself small [unthreatening). It was like that.  I used to wait outside the class, for the teacher to arrive or to let us in, like a teenager instead of going in, in case I presumed too much.  And then felt stupid when the actual teenagers arrived and walked in.  My face wore a bland, impassive mask, so I supposed.  

I felt guilty asking a question and usually did so privately.  I felt hampered, clipped, suppressed. I didn't learn much. The tragedy was the students thought that learning environment was normal, therefore probably good.  

When I realised there was an  'Advanced higher' level, (never suggested) I asked to change level.  I never actually did anything wrong that I knew of.  But ultimately, in early 2022 when we were coming out of Covid, the school asked me to stay home.  Apparently my attendance increased the Covid risk, though the teens got to stay.  Although they had accepted me on the course, I became a sort of optional.  I felt discriminated against but said nothing and was relieved anyway. It was an excuse to get out but still do the exam.  I got the Advanced Higher by doing my own prep and taking the exam in school. 

What was the prep? The school gave me a link to an online bug-ridden programme designed by the University of Edinburgh.  When I got too frustrated by the bugs I set up online conversation exchanges with Spanish speakers in other countries, usually, in the Spanish part with something specific I wanted help with. Most people didn't do that, they just wanted to chat.  Everyone was different.  You had to be adaptable. Contrast with the one-size-fits-all of school. I know you are meant to teach all abilities, I forget the current buzzword, but when there are thirty kids in a class, that is going to be limited. I think most people teach the main core, let the advanced ones do their own thing and try to give extra help those with more challenges. 

Really, though, I learned fairly fluent Spanish by doing DIY with my Spanish speaking friend.  While I sought out ways to immerse myself in Spanish, he, to make his own life easier, sought out people who spoke Spanish to avoid speaking English.  

I found out there was another level I could do by accident  - just by seeing harder papers on the teacher's desk.  I asked to change level and thank goodness because I got an 'A'.  If I hadn't asked the most I would have got was an 'A' at the level below!  Most students can't and don't ask.  It doesn't occur to them. They are corralled in a class to learn certain material at a certain pace and they think it's normal. 

That flexibility could be designed into learning so people learn at the right pace for them, that idea has been put on a high shelf, well out of sight.   There is no concept of skipping a level, spreading  wings. Why?  Is it dangerous?