A good mentor holds back.
Many teachers, and some parents, try to get kids to do it their way but the loveliest thing in any primary school display is the diversity of the art work, the individuality. Knowing when not to help is probably more important than helping.
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
- Khalil Gibran, The Prophet (1923)
It is a captivating image. But maybe a mentor is not even the bow. The bow implies a goal, chosen in advance and an aim, from experience. But each person's goal should be their own and aim comes with practice. The greater the independence, the greater the joy of discovery. The guide tries to ensure there are no serious injuries. They step in when discouragement threatens abandonment. They might share a hint when repeated attempts come to naught.
They observe in the background, anticipating problems, stepping in if danger threatens, or discouragement.
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