Space

You yourself must strive.

The Buddhas only point the way.

                                             Dhammapada

Talking to someone about getting new dancers started by taking them to milongas he said "You don't actually need to take them, you know.  They can make their own way.  It was a lesson in holding back.  

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While a teacher talks at a class, a mentor doesn't tell you.  They certainly don't tell you everything at once.  A few great leaders are able to connect with a group of people, to inspire them, to stir emotions that lead them to achieve or to join in some common goal.  But not everyone wants to be part of a group, even a group with a laudable aim.  In contrast, it is hard not to connect with someone who listens.  A mentor probably listens more than they speak.

I wish Instagram had been around when my kids were younger.  There are so many good parenting tips there.  

But something I did consistently, when my kids asked me how to spell something, was say "How do you think?" In fact, just after writing this, my now seventeen year old, whose forte is not spelling, wanted to know how to spell 'umlaut', for a crossword we were doing.  I still used the same approach.

Primary age, they would say, always with their eye on me  A...C...C.... and I would say nothing, so they continued. 

O.....M....A.....  whereupon I would shake my head, once but say nothing.  

U.....Another shake

E....The same again

A....and again

They would start to get frustrated but this passes as they apply thought.  They always got there. There were two lessons and the most important one was not how to spell accommodate.

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A mentor makes space for a curious mind.  

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It is a light touch that is needed, to help someone find their way, a guiding touch. Though I only saw it in action over one evening, Colin, who was a sensitive guy, had this.