Beginners dancing well?

Todotango

Back to the comment on that post:

"I see the quality of dancing within 100 miles of me and I see a problem."

"people say fantastic things about those who stay [dancing with me]"

This kind of thing is always a nuisance and a bore.

One is tempted to assume the readers for whom one really writes see through that type of deliberate slur. One has an expectation of the reader and if they're not it then interest falls away.  I'm more than happy when that cuts both ways.  Aut visum aut non.  Aut sensum aut non. It's a bit like when someone tips up to a practica or class counting out steps as though there was some sequence even when you've pointed out there isn't. Or if a woman parades around you in an open hold as if the point was to peacock. What you have to offer really isn't going to suit them. There's a lack of compatibility. 

What's weird here, on the blog, online is when people don't even slug it out with you directly, or put forward a different, honest view, but try to be snide or sly.  They want to try to discredit you using the very things they accuse you of - in this case being judgemental, and presumably hope no-one notices. It seems to be an internet thing because it doesn't happen much in real life. 

One wonders whether one ought to unpack a comment like this for those who don't get it. I have a smart friend I discussed this comment with and even they didn't see it at first.  But, really, why bother? If readers don't get it, so be it. It is probably a mistake to give in to that temptation, and were it not for the fact that the issue of judgement (of which perhaps more another time) is an interesting topic, I might have left there.

Another reason to bother addressing this is to explore why shouldn't the new people already dance well for reasons unrelated to or little related to me?  

"Matthew"'s idea is to jam two separate things I said together to make them seem related, then for good measure to add on a falsehood to change what I said and to top it off with a jibe about judgement (via the link under their fictitious name handle).

So: this [dancing with me] is an addition which changes the meaning of what I said. 

Why is this a deliberate slur and not a sloppy mistake? Because of that ostensibly clever link via the name from "Matthew" of the New Testament. But it is a low grade sort of intelligence: crafty, sly, cunning, the kind we associate with foxes and low life Italians, via the word furbo - the kind of people who think the sort of base, transparent attempts at one-upmanship constitute cleverness. Is it a random stranger off the internet? Probably not unless a particularly sorry case, so possibly a disgruntled local. If there's one thing I have learned about teaching it is the politics regarding other teachers and even some organisers is horrendous.

There are a whole variety of reasons new people might dance well that have little to do with me and in the cases where they might have something to do with me, it is almost incidental: because I simply pass on things it took me years to learn, mostly from others, together with some reflection.

Why is it misrelated to say that people say fantastic things about those who stay "dancing with me"? I should point out for those who missed it, that there are two of us running these classes.

It's misrelated for that very fact but also because people could say fantastic things about those who stay because they are nice people, because they dance well, because they happen to connect well with each other, because they have a nice vibe. "People" (existing dancers) did in fact say it was because the new people dance well. Maybe they were being polite, but I doubt it. They didn't have to say it.

Actually, a surprising number of the new dancers do, in my view dance well, especially the women. Many, both men and women are sensitive, nuanced souls and these in my experience make great dancers. They have only had four lessons (three with me) so I'm not sure why that is. Then again, not everyone has stayed. Some women with great potential didn't come back and I hope they return for social dancing sometime, but then again some guys clearly focused on steps didn't either. Also, there is the question of like attracts like. 

Like attracts like seems to have happened with the Parisian queer tango dancers. You end up with people attracted to dancing with others who are not forceful, who listen to the music, who prioritize the connection with the partner. So you end up with a group of people who all like those things. Little wonder when they dance well.  When those people in turn have a lot of experience that is what the new people they dance with grow up on. No surprise when they in turn dance like the people they first danced with.

But are there other specific reasons they are already dancing well?

Those who have stayed have heard the idea of dancing the music and dancing the phrase, and the importance of knowing the music or at least listening to it, which is key to good dancing; that ultimately it is by making the music your own, interpreting and sharing it that is one of the keys to great dancing. The new dancers also seem mostly to be able to identify vals, milonga and tango, which is good going. They know that different orchestras have different sounds and styles even if they don't yet know what these are.

They have understood the importance of partner choice and invitation by look, without which there is rarely foundation for good connection. They know that we don't try and control or criticise our partner, that there is no good dance without feeling relaxed. Equally, that if someone in the traditional woman's role feels imposed upon in some way, then they should communicate that and not just silently put up with it.

They understand the ronda, the musical structure of the milonga and the basic codes of clearing the floor and the reasons for this relating to practicality as well as courtesy. If I have any "basics" they are these: respect for the music, the partner and the people around.

They understand that in dance there are no mistakes, there is just what happens and we take those opportunities for good humour, aware that often these are the best moments in a dance and move on.

They know that it is quite possible to dance very well with no classic tango steps. They know that the terms leader and follower while conveniently gender-free are also for other reasons, inherently problematic, that it is crucial that men especially at some point swap out of the traditional male role, ideally from the beginning. They know, I suppose, some points of technique: not slumping the chest or tightening the arms, or poking or pulling or driving, or duck walking or bobbing (for the men); they women know how to avoid the men stepping on their feet. Many of these things you feel when you dance with them. So many teachers "ration" themselves so students have to pay £100/hour for that "privilege".

It is no surprise then, when I feel and people say they already dance well - compared, say, to other beginners four lessons in, who may not have learned any of these things but who have learned how to "think dance" and how to railroad someone into an ocho or a cross. I would every time prefer a dancer first to feel the music and to sense the partner and to walk with the music and the partner in a way that is smooth, calm, confident but relaxed, than learn to analyse and replicate some move that looks as contrived as it always does in beginners. Why teachers always start with those moves which are far harder than other, more useful ones, I cannot fathom.

And it's not just me who thinks men should learn to walk well and musically above all and certainly before anything else.  I've lost count of the times women say they would far rather the guy walks well than tries lots of fancy steps. That's another thing this group knows: that there is a psychological pressure on the guy to "do stuff", to keep the woman interested, but that this is largely a false temptation. It depends on the woman, but most in my experience, women and certainly the ones I like dancing with, prioritise music, connection and humour over choreography, every time.