Tuesday 26 September 2023

Tense guys

Eric Van Buskirk

Often, dancing individually with guys who arrive to class or práctica, maybe from other dances or classes with a credo of steps, their arms are tense. A tense guy transmits his stress and can be physically painful to dance with.  They know, not least because I keep loosening my arm.

It happens all the time with guys who have been told to have a "frame" or guys who are stressed or nervous - often because they have done a dance class fixated on moves and technique. I don't want a guy with a "frame". I want a guy with an embrace.

This doesn't tend to happen with guys who just come "fresh" - no previous classes and who dance (individually) with me from the beginning.  They are first guided so they never experience anything but relaxed arms so that is their normal reference point. That is all it takes, once dance and they get the idea. The rest is consolidated by more dancing in the same way. But that first impression, that reference point can be undone by focusing on technique and moves.

The tense arm problem also goes away when the guy swaps roles out of the guiding role.  Dancing in the traditional woman's role a guy whose arms were tense will (often) magically lose that tension.


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