Pressure

William Warby

New guys put themselves under far too much pressure when they only want to “lead”, plus of course they never find out what it’s like for the woman. That’s why swapping roles for beginners is so important.  I have huge respect for guys who agree to do that from the get-go, especially if they themselves opt for it rather than it being suggested to them.

Even "showing" tense-arm guys what it's like doesn't  necessarily have a consistent and long-term effect with all guys.  Last time I suggested to the individuals guys I was dancing with that they focus their attention on their arms in the seconds before dancing and consider whether they could relax them more, breathe into their arms, meditation style. Maybe we should do some relaxation exercises first. Open to your ideas! 

Tango for me, with guys or people guiding is very largely about the expression of their personality.  If they are not dancing well, it often seems to be something psychological or emotional that is expressing itself in their dance.  I am not a psychologist but I do find that by addressing some of the physical symptoms, it can seem to change the  person.  

The most obvious one is getting a nervous or unconfident guy to stand tall which automatically shares their chest. Often these guys will walk forward but pull you back, almost braking you, which makes them off the music. If you swap with them they don't necessarily feel the difference. I tried encouraging a guy forwards as he danced with me, so that he does it, not me. I was amazed at the transformation.  The guy stood tall, confident and walked on the music.

 
But you need to spend time with them.  The next time I danced with him he was back as he was. That is the problem with class.