Renegade hearts

Magdalan Saiyantoa

Back in 2015 a friend was demoralised about the local tango dancing scene. A survey had come out showing that the city's milongas, controlled by a shadowy, unelected cartel, was unfriendly and discouraging. The friend was all "one tango" love and positivity vibes and had tried to set up another. Kissinger they were not. 

A: But one milonga for all...it doesn't work like that.

B: No it doesn't work at all. I tried to change it and failed. I don't have the time or energy. I just don't go now.  I got the feeling when I was trying to plan my milonga that I was not allowed since I wasn't one of them. I had to help [the incumbent organiser] or make it a student event. I would have gone renegade but I think many people would have avoided it for fear of controversy.

A: Well, you asked permission of the incumbents. Of course they would say that! How is asking permission of the the competition going to work? You didn't need permission.

B:  Yes but they hold the marketing monopoly. If they don't support something no one goes.

A: They don't hold a marketing monopoly. Look at Milonga Popular in Berlin. Hardly advertised & mobbed.Perhaps you need a different strategy.

B:  But Berlin has TONS more people dancing. Several times this summer there were less than 30 people at the milonga.

A:  Proves my point. The need for a different offering. Don't try to integrate with the incumbents! You'll be treated like shit.

B: And be given the information that it would NOT be okay?

A:  I get your tango love positivity thing, But one milonga for all...it doesn't work like that.

B:  I don't want to be the renegade [Marsyas]. I get tired of that role. That person is always metaphorically killed in the end. I need to focus on other things, not changing our dysfunctional tango scene. I will leave that to a better person than myself!

A: Renegade or hero is just a question of perspective. You could be the saviour of the scene...

B: No, I need to use my energy creating awareness of the toxicity of socially constructed gender expectations. Dancing is just....dancing! I'll leave being the saviour to you. ;)

A: Ha! Dancing tango is nothing if not about "socially constructed gender expectations". But it does seem to be about everything! I'm already the renegade, hardly the saviour. It's my one talent.

B: That's why I love you! Your renegade heart speaks to mine!

But a renegade persists.  The lover of freedom flies away.

Some years later someone else did set up an alternative.  By that time, the original had made some efforts to change. They started advertising other events in the city  - provided people stayed onside.  It was hard to know if that was changing or tightening control, the way a media company has  power to disseminate the things it wants to and to suppress what it doesn't.

But it was too late and you can't hold a monopoly forever.  Organisers of healthy milongas don't aim for control, they want to foster diversity and independence, because that's how things grow.  If you want to know the character of a milonga host, just dance with them, or watch them dance.  

In the real world, few people are so well intentioned as to want to do their job so well they are no longer needed, or to foster diversity and independence if there is a risk to themselves.  They do what serves their interest, be it independence, freedom, money or control. 

Imposition

Johnny Hughes

Freedom was the title of the first post in this blog back in 2014. Agreement and consent are the social friends of freedom. I have written often about its antithesis e.g. Obligation.

Grown up milongas (as opposed to the kindergarten version) are, above all, places of choice. Dancers come and go when they like, nobody probes for full names or even real names, or into personal circumstances.   Women don’t mug guys for dances and guys don't do walk-up, hand-proferring invitations.  Neither “begs” for dances through conversation.  Most of all, they are places where no-one imposes themselves on anyone else.  There is no use of force. 

When one person forces themselves on another, physically, psychologically, socially, any way at all, it is hard to think of more grotesque, dangerous or sickening behaviour, even more so when it is thinly disguised within a civilized setting.

The absolute cornerstone of milonga culture is freedom of discreet invitation and equally discreet acceptance or refusal. This all happens by look (the inviter's cabeceo, the accepter's mirada). It is also one of the most obvious codes (accepted milonga behaviours).

Some people don't truly understand this code. They can't cope with it, but are alert enough to have learned its importance. These types look for stratagems to get round it. This is manipulation: they will manipulate people to get what they want. People who are deaf and blind to the many freedoms that make a good milonga are those who impose themselves on others, who try to oblige others to attend to them, who use others to satisfy their needs. 

Why don't these people adhere to the code like everyone else? Because perhaps they are impatient to dance or ambitious in dance, because they are not at peace, because they are insecure. They need attention, all the time. Consider: what happens to these people if they do adhere to the code but don't manage to dance? They will not have a perhaps understandably disappointing evening, they won't, more resourcefully, instead of dancing, enjoy the music, or the spectacle or the company, or the conversation because that is too objective - it wouldn't be about them. No, this person will have a calamitously bad time because they are not getting that attention. This is a classic narcissistic personality. Their reaction? Probably histrionic, moody, emotional.

How do they get round the code? Both men and women will show off, in their dance, or their clothes or their behaviour. They will demand attention. Until recently while I recognised (except when, catastrophically, I didn't) the danger signs of these types I never really understood why - because I didn't need to. I just avoided them.

So what happens if they don't get dances? Instead of just shrugging, accepting it, not taking it personally, moving on, they will be hostile and resentful, especially if they have been turned down. This is another sign of the immature personality.

Young and pretty female versions might do the indoor equivalent of standing on a street corner. They flirt and chat not for the pleasure of that but as a stratagem to pick up dances because they can't truly relax, find peace in the milonga. They feel awkward unless they are dancing all the time. They don't realise how transparent they are to experienced dancers and so they pick up the dregs they deserve.

To get round the code, men just walk up which fulfils this pathological need for attention in the most obvious way. They aren't patient enough or able to get a dance the accepted way. They get the praise they need simply by getting a woman to accept their proffered hand while the rest of us cringe. The guy who walks up isn't simply a bad dancer, he is sending a warning about his personality.

I have written often about that diabolical triad that motivates so many:  money or power or status.  They are found in these controlling, demanding narcissistic types. Such people are constitutionally unsuited to good milongas.  They will never fit because these traits seem to be hardwired into them.   The focus on money and power are both types of ambition but both of these are really about status.  Attention seekers are just childish versions of adult status seekers.  And status seekers are essentially, profoundly insecure.

What are the characteristics of people who invite by look, who don't use stratagems, who don't impose themselves on others? Respectful and empathetic certainly. Altruistic? Undemanding? Understanding? Calm? Quiet? Patient? Grounded? Observant? Take your pick. They are all excellent models of behaviour. These are signs of listeners, people with an outward focus that is not on themselves, good partners in conversation, in dance and in life.

Protectionism and power

(Three track tandas VII)

Perhaps the milonga organiser who favours for instance, three track tango tandas wants to deter good dancers who are not the organiser's own class students.  Indeed, such dancers may not support a teacher-organiser's exploitative class model. I know of of one outfit so “closed” to social dancing it does not have a milonga, nor even an open practica.  The practica it has is limited to their own students.

It is telling that their contact details are: Mister and Doctor. I have always found it curious when people make use of their titles in ways or contexts that are unusual - like the man who introduced himself to my mother at school sports day as Councillor <forgettable>.

Speaking generally, where people like or need to exert a lot of control I notice that the crutches for insecurity to self-inflation are used more widely. So, teacher demos will go on for a long time because they emphasise how important the teacher is. The teacher will talk a lot instead of letting people dance and try things out. The amount of teacher-focused time is likely to be disproportionate to the amount of time students have to practice/work. I have seen efforts to protect the teacher even extend to the sinister demanding of “loyalty” (which of course, is not, but blind, unthinking devotion) from students. I think that is relatively rare though. More commonly there are self-promoting blurbs or acolytes extoll the virtues of a teacher for them. None of this is real power though. Real power doesn’t need to do any of these things. Real power - or perhaps rather strength - doesn’t need to advertise itself and is respected without coercion, without even a word.

I know another outfit which used to run a milonga attended only by their own students or ex-students and now seems to run none at all.  It is easier to just run classes than not to have to deal with the hassle of running a milonga (or to outsource it to students) when you are not actually that interested in students dancing socially and especially when you might have to deal with non-students showing up.

If you are used to a liberal environment and to milongas that are attended by a cross-section of people not at all “belonging” to the same teacher then suspicion and hostility from the teacher towards people who are not that teacher’s students turning up to a largely or wholly class-group milonga will likely - happily -  be a strange and alien concept to you.  I think you have to have seen and experienced it for yourself.

Perhaps though the organiser does want to attract good dancers but just doesn't realise the sorts of things that put them off. Having good dancers attend a milonga though is less critical for teacher-organisers than having profitable class dancers who don't question what they are told and moreover who do as they are told: dancing to three track tandas without a murmur and obediently changing partner.  Besides, good milonga-dancing dancers turning up at a kindergarten milonga show up bad class dancers who complain about not getting invited. How much easier if good dancers are put off and if new dancers stay within a teacher’s class clutches and the local teacher-controlled milonga. Then they would never get to hear about four tango tracks to a tanda and start to get ideas above their (class) station.

Cats and poems

School pick up is the high point of my day.  It is a bit over a mile to walk with my children back from school.  A little warm hand holds mine while on the other side my nine year old's skinny arms sometimes snake round my waist as his legs walk obligingly  in synch with mine.  Unsurprisingly in this connected contortion we are, if practised, not fast and we cover a lot of chat in that time. Unaware that today is National Poetry Day yesterday I had brought Ted Hughes’ The Iron Wolf to read together.  

I find reading distracts my younger son from objections about walking and having insufficient (or insufficiently unhealthy) after-school snacks.  I laughed yesterday when the leader of our singing group, a mother of three boys told how when her children come in from school, the first thing they say is not "Hi mum!" or "How are you?" but "What can I have?". A woman I didn't know well recently confessed her children run out of school, hang their school bags upon her, burrow about for a snack and disappear to play for a while.  Again my laughter was of recognition.  We agreed that if you strip away the veneers that separate parents waiting in the school playground there might not be so much difference in our experiences.   

The Iron Wolf is a collection of animal poems which are refreshingly unpatronising towards children.  

Years ago, long before it was probably 'age appropriate' they knew the seasonal Who Killed The Leaves by heart because it was on this cd which we played in the car. Now they are humming the choruses to the Osiligi Masai warriors' songs who tour Britain annually, often in church halls and schools.  We loved it, found it affecting and would go again. 

This is another good poetry cd for children, especially Browning’s superb The Pied Piper of Hamelin. Its strength is its great variety. My seven year old prefers Framed in a First-Story Winder (Anonymous) for which he swaps his Scottish accent for an uncannily imitative London one, to tell the gruesome story with disconcerting relish.  Hilaire Belloc, aware of chidlrens delight in sticky endings,  was onto something.

Today they chose which poem they wanted me to read from Chris Riddel’s evocative illustrations. I am unsurprised to discover he is the current Children’s Laureate.  One poem Cat reminded me of “cat-dancers” from the last post in the other place. Another Hughes poem about planting, trees in particular, is the dark My Own True Family.  If it is a mistake to write about music, it is even more so true about poetry.  Poems are the subtlest form of writing.  Like literary cats they evade being pinned down by trite, pedestrian interpretation.  Poems belong to themselves. 

I chose Cat to share here is because I agree it is wearing to be in artificial places, to be told and controlled and to have individuality  eliminated and standardised. We go to town (or dance class) of our own choosing thinking we are doing ourselves good yet it tires us out. They are not natural places. It is those who are their own selves and who are in harmony with what is around them who have a kind of transmittable, energising, restorative power. Why is it so hard sometimes, for us to see the difference?

Marsyas

We have no ban on reading at the table in our house - if the reading is shared.  How can good food and good stories be bad together?  Besides, I find a combination of a good story and posh oil and vinegars means my children will eat platefuls of salad without complaint.

During the summer I read Sally Pomme Clayton and Jane Ray's lovely book Greek Myths: Stories of Sun, Stone, and Sea to them while they finished their tea. The reference to applause in that story reminded me of applause in the milonga.

There are different versions of the story of the musical competition between the god Apollo and the satyr Marsyas.  Even the victory is not always clear - in some versions Apollo wins, in some Marsyas (briefly, at least), but in most of them (though not in Greek Myths),  Marsyas dies in agony, victim of the jealous, vengeful god.

Over time, Marsyas has been represented in different ways because through the challenge or threat to power, and in the way he meets his end, Marsyas is a political figure.  In some versions it is Marsyas who, with hubris, challenges Apollo.  In that light by challenging a god Marsyas becomes a contributor to his own end.  In a contrasting version it is Apollo or someone else who sets up the competition.  Now Marsyas appears more an unwitting pawn or perhaps a knowing catalyst in a story that reveals Apollo's own weaknesses, leading him to torture and murder.

In one version of the Marsyas story, the competition appears to be going in Marsyas' favour until Apollo sings to accompany his lyre whereupon Marsyas complains that the addition of the voice is unfair. Apollo counters that using his voice is no different to Marsyas using his breath to animate his flute and if the one should be disallowed then so should the other, whereupon Apollo is declared victor. 

In some versions Apollo flays Marsyas for quarrelling.  In other versions where the complaint is omitted, he is flayed because his better musicianship humiliates Apollo.  Whichever version you prefer, although Marsyas dies, if legacy counts, it is Apollo who comes off worst, as is often the case with an abuse of power.  The flaying of Marsyas, victim of Apollo's pique or jealous fury might make for great art (Titian) or rather gruesome poetry (Robin Robertson) but I prefer the ending in Greek Myths where in victory Marsyas is well-loved and inspires others.  It is more subtle too because Apollo's presumption of victory in that story already shows his flaws.  The flaying in the other versions only compounds them.

I am reminded of a recent conversation with a friend who made the point that the renegade is always killed in the end - and not only metaphorically.  Christ most famously, Galileo managed to pull off his survival, but Giordano Bruno didn't.  Gandhi stood up to the British although his assassination was by a Hindu nationalist.  Perhaps most famously, Socrates, stinging gadfly who provoked thought in others was another who met a hastened end for speaking truth to power.  It is no mere coincidence for me that the same man is also  remembered for:  "But I was never any one's teacher." (Apology, 33a).

In any mythological-type story, characters are archetypes, examples of types of people and as such are a way of seeing what might happen when these types interact under certain circumstances.  Our interpretations of those interactions reveal truths about ourselves and others.  It is not just about what happens overtly (in this case Apollo wins and Marsyas dies) but the longer legacy of that outcome because ideas persist for centuries.  In this case, the idea might be those with power can be weak, fallible and cruel and the legacy of their actions can dog them - or any alternative reading you might care for.

In the real world Marsyas had an interesting afterlife . There was a statue of him in the Roman Forum, the area of public life - commerce, politics, law, religious worship, triumphal processions and gladiatorial sport. His statue was often found in the fora of other ancient cities. Some think it was a warning against arrogant presumption and pride.  If you were wealthy and powerful with a position in business,  law or administration  you might set up a statue of Marsyas warning against hubris and the challenge to authority.  You might even erect it to say, no matter what the circumstances, don't presume to win against authority, though it's hard to think of a better demonstration of hubris.

And yet, Marsyas was garlanded. "I warn you to know your place - but am garlanded." Does that not seem frivolous? Not only was the statue sometimes crowned with flowers it may have been sacred because a thief of that chaplet was once imprisoned. Courtesans gathered around the statue.   Marsyas was in legend, a satyr, follower of Pan, god of the wild, of rustic music and the companion of nymphs. Pan himself was a son of Hermes, god of transition, of boundaries, of traveller.  Or, he was a son of Dionysus (Bacchus for the Romans), god of wine, fertility, the theatre, ritual madness and religious ecstasy - all ways, one might say to pleasure but also to insight, of seeing further, or at least, differently. Marsyas has the air of the rebel about him and we need rebels not least to show the flaws in the established order. Is Marsyas a martyr, a rallying point, symbol of resistance, a symbol of truth against vested power and interest?  But perhaps if you were an ordinary Roman you couldn't risk voicing that thought. Maybe a ring of flowers was a symbol of allegiance and as far as you could go.

The view of Marsyas is rather like the polarised views there are through history.  Many years ago I talked with a kind Irishman about "rebels".  "The patriots", you mean he said, smiling.  William Wallace is another - rebel and renegade or patriot and freedom fighter depending on where you stood, where you still stand. Marsyas seems to stand between power and plebeian. Maybe he represents the idea that a challenge to authority can go either way.  He reminds me of Janus, god not just of endings and beginnings, past and future but also of peace and of war.   

The different ways Marsyas is represented or that his story is appropriated says so much about the teller.  A work of art, a concept, a story that allows a variety of interpretation is one that fulfils one of the roles of art in life: to allow us to reflect on the kind of beings we are. The way we tell about something can say more than any actual facts.  The story of Marsyas for me is a story of perspective, sister of empathy, both conduits for the kinds of truths we learn through the experience of others.  Film, drama, fiction, stories, poems are facets of the same magic that allows us to swap our own perspective so that we may see through the eyes of another and learn from that experience.

The same happens when you dance in the embrace.  You understand how your partner feels the music and wordlessly, you have, through the physical, the more-than-physical sense of who they are.

A DJ's "audience", "Tanda of the Week" and censorship

Martha Graham

Back here I said I wanted to respond to something that came up in a post on Tanda of the Week.  The owner of that tango music blog, DJ Antti Suniala said 

"the music has to be in relation to the audience as well".  I agree with this - with one crucial difference:  I don't think a DJ has an "audience".  A milonga isn't a show though on occasion I have seen DJs act or talk that way, or try to whip up a crowd with stamping, clapping, head-banging, air-punching, all sorts of odd things. That hubris can be fatal, I think.  A DJ plays for, is at the service of, dancers - always.  "Audience" implies something else. 

Unless Antti's idea of the DJ's role is profoundly different to mine, this mention of a DJ's audience I guess is a slip of the pen.  I have never heard Antti DJ, to my knowledge we've never met and we've never corresponded. I've read his blog for somewhere between 6 months and a year which is enough to at least get a feel for how things are there.  To date, he strikes me as one of the good guys.

Tanda of the Week is evidently not merely a personal showcase, not just a DJ setting out his stall for bookings, not least because the site is a mix of tandas put together by Antti and submitted to him by guest DJs.  So I think it's a resource, a tool, something useful, something you can learn from.  This is the main reason I also think it is great when DJs are open and share their sets publicly or privately.  TOTW is also about discussing music and DJing and that is what is great about it, what makes it really alive.  We don't always agree on music but that's kind of the point.  Where is the real interest in discussing things with people who already share your ideas?  The pleasure of discussion is in learning something new, in contrast, in persuasion, in seeing another's point of view, in understanding how they think and what they value, the finding out where you agree and disagree and why.

Tanda of the Week is well known.  In the secret lives of many DJs I suspect it is a well-used resource yet compared to the amount I imagine it is read it is commented upon comparatively little.    Antti posts his own tandas regularly, knowing that they differ in style, one from another, knowing that they could well be and in fact regularly are commented upon and have metaphorical tomatoes thrown at them, knowing his taste will be questioned and the good tandas often ignored -  yet he keeps doing it, cheerfully, with good humour.  The tandas, the cortinas and the comments are resources that can be used by new and existing DJs. I think this blog enriches the musical life of the contemporary tango scene.

I like that Antti uses this own name.  It is a good precedent.  It's less rare, for obvious reasons for a DJ to use a pseudonym online.  But of the few bloggers - and people who comment - who challenge or question, to different degrees, the status quo most seem afraid to speak out under their own name:  TangoCommuter, TangoAirO (defunct and removed), RandomTangoBloke (sadly defunct), and most obviously TangoVoice whose clam-like silence on their identity is proportionate to the degree to which s/he is, is, I think an advocate of the traditional, Buenos Aires way of doing things.  There are excellent reasons for this, not least the risk of ostracism and fear of a backlash in their local communities.  This is not on the same scale as the risks faced by some apostates or critics of religion and yet a social death in their local tango scene is enough to put off many from speaking freely - or at least publicly - especially if they already have roles as DJs, organisers or even teachers. But what actually does it say about these tango "communities" where there is evidently a sense that there can be no diversity in opinion, let alone practice, without repercussion?  Diversity is healthy.  Monopolies are not and breed a herd-like mentality and fear.  How many milongas are there round your way locally? How many compared to the number of teachers?  What kind of music is played?  How many different DJs are there locally? Does one group run all your milongas or is there healthy diversity? How diverse are things, generally, near you? I have found diversity by dancing in five or six different towns and cities within an hour of me but more local diversity is better.  

One of the best things for me about Tanda of the Week, is that it is open, uncensored.  That alone says much.  As far as I know, and as far as I have heard to date unlike many Antti does not censor comments where he does not agree with the view.  That freedom to speak your mind implies a degree of trust that, in a society which values freedom of speech, I have found to be surprisingly (to my mind) rare among bloggers.  It was Martha Graham¹ (pictured) who said "Censorship is the height of vanity" and I agree.  And of fear.  People who censor are essentially fearful, trying to cling on to something - usually their sense of a form of power, status or money.  When challenged on this, moderators or administrators almost universally adopt a libertarian line, saying this forum is a sort of private club where our own rules apply and if you don't like it, you can go elsewhere or we can kick you out. But censorship by definition happens (usually) before people get to see it, before that group  gets to decide collectively on whether something is OK or not.  It prevents discussion about whether it's ok.  I think that's what I object to. Some people are happy to abnegate that responsibility, but I care more about the people who aren't.  Open societies just like open forums discuss together what is acceptable and what is not. That's how we live together.  It's also how we develop diversity and toleration.  The rapper Jay-Z in his book, Decoded said we change people through conversation, not through censorship.

Sometimes censorship is more insidious - an edited history is provided. So things happen, things are said, and then quietly deleted, history is rewritten. It reminds me of China's history books - it happened, but only like this, only as we tell  you, or only as far as you remember and we know how how unreliable memory is.  Except memory can be surprisingly persistent and objectionable when things are suppressed.

TangoAirO sometimes looked at things from a questioning angle.  S/he took his site offline earlier this year - not left for posterity to learn from, and yet if ever a blogger was didactic this one was - but removed so the author could move onto the more important things in life.  I can't help but wonder if that was teaching.  For me discussion about ideas is at the very heart of life.

So while discussion remains not ad hominem but about ideas and opinion then I think no censorship is very valuable.  Actually, even personal attacks, unless severely disruptive, or revealing of privacy, personal or confidential information are worth leaving in place - as indicative of the person that made them.  I understand when comments are moderated maybe to avoid spam or perhaps with the idea that someone should be spared another's vitriol but I do not comment upon blogs like Melina's Two Cents (dormant), and TangoCommuter's that allow comments yet filter them in god-like fashion depending on the degree to which they disagree with the blog owner.  If only part of a comment is published it is for me a form of dishonesty and the kind of manipulation of which the media is often accused.  Mostly this filtering smacks of fear which sits uneasily with someone writing publicly.  It feels like grandstanding yet having hoods at the back to chuck out the dissenters.  Besides, I find the public back-slapping - rife on social media - between people who share uncontroversial ideas uninteresting at best, slightly sinister at worst. 

Someone said to me recently, "We can't rely on what our friends say about us...they love us unconditionally. What our foes say is the more accurate benchmark."  I don't know about accurate, because enemies are also prone to propaganda. But still, I asked,
"So what do your enemies say?"
"I have no enemies, When you expect the best out of people, nine times out of ten that's what you get."

That, I think is what is happening in Tanda of the Week.  Antti expects it to work, for the most part expects healthy debate and ideas (since his "never criticize" comment, this under review) and gets it, I think.

Antti argues, believe me. But he will sometimes be persuaded by or make a concession to a point.  I have found that in life to be a rare trait between individuals, let alone in public.  It suggests honesty, open-mindedness and a willingness to change one's mind.  There is more often strength than weakness in that.

The point about a DJ's "audience" was the first I wanted to respond to.  The other will be next time.

¹Martha Graham "the Picasso of dance" was an influential twentieth century modern dancer and choreographer whose work, rooted in America, crossed artistic boundaries. She said, "A dance reveals the spirit of the country in which it takes root. No sooner does it fail to do this than it loses its integrity and significance".

Photograph by Cris Alexander, courtesy of Martha Graham Dance Company.

An apology

Front cover of an early printing of 'The Dream of Debs'

My take on writing "responsively" to things others write is that generally, I prefer to do my own thing.  It is usually the ideas and impressions in the milonga or in conversation with strangers and friends that make me want to write, rather like the music that makes me want to dance.

I notice that the writers and bloggers I most respect have a ring of authenticity.  They are not bottom-feeders.  They are not merely responsive, in the same way that they are not merely personal.  I like to read people who don't just engage in the tit for tat of an argument but who move an idea forward.

The writers I like acknowledge influence, demonstrating a bare minimum of integrity.  They don't pass off a response to another piece as a new idea because that oblique form of plagiarism, is nevertheless one of the grosser forms of dishonesty and dissimulation.  Astute readers notice a lack of authorial integrity and the tendency towards one-upmanship which that implies.  Anyone with an iota of intelligence and self-respect will spot and steer clear of those.

The Scarlet Plague is a collection of short stories by Jack London, some of them set in a world facing plausible apocalyptic crises.  'The Heathen' though - one of these stories - is about the relationship between two men.  The character Otoo is described thus:

"He believed merely in fair play and square dealing.  Petty meanness, in his code, was almost as serious as wanton homicide and I do believe that he respected a murderer more than a man given to small practices."

I like the sound of Otoo.  He is from the start heroic in his unusual talents, good judgement and his selflessness.  In the other stories, London, the political writer envisages the anarchy and two different kinds of new order that arise from the stasis created by entrenched power and vested interest, whether that disruption arises from careful planning as in 'The Dream of Debs'¹ or from unfortunate natural circumstance as in 'The Scarlet Plague'.

Of course we are influenced by things all the time.  I am indelibly influenced in what I think about tango music, dance and culture from the things I mentioned, from having taken classes, by books and articles, by tango lyrics in the wonderful resource that is the Tango Translation Database and elsewhere.

If there has been a single area of most influence it is the observations and conversation in various correspondence with those more experienced than me in music, life and dance, perhaps because in writing our thoughts are distilled and referenceable. But that strong influence is not surprising because we grow in ideas and confidence as we gain experience in dance, in sport, in life, by engaging with, learning from those with more experience.

It is social learning and it is based on trust, interaction and our own judgement of what is valuable rather than on being passively told what to think and what to do.  For my first baby I cooked and pureed, froze miniature portions and thawed them; I weighed and measured and sterilised the way professionals told me and books instructed me.  I spoon-fed him carefully, tidily, exhaustedly and he had a violent dairy allergy.  My second baby I let reach out for things independently.  He ate pretty much what we ate, with his fingers, naturally, messily, with relish and with disgust.  He picked the flesh from whole sea bass, spat out olive stones, sucked meat bones and grabbed at spinach.  I was always afraid he might choke but it was better the second way.  We sat on the floor by the fridge alphabet:  "a" is for Aarrrrgh! "b" for "Boo!", "c" is for Cuddle, "d" for Dance.

Anyway, that was the apology, because sometimes I do come across something I want to answer, not just because I want to, but because I don't like monopolies or unchallenged, potentially influential views, especially when I think they are mistaken.  One of the dangers is that these can come to represent the kinds of interest tackled in the 'The Dream of Debs'. Vested interest is very dangerous: ruthless, unscrupulous, potentially hegemonic.  It will run the timid right off the road and sees no problem there.  Sharing the view of that unlikeable sophist, Thrasymychus in The Republic, it believes in the rule of the strong and that injustice is mightier than justice.  It's different when influential views are reliable, insightful, plausible, trustworthy and impartial.  But in life I notice the trick is more often to be seen, to be believed to be those things, rather than actually being those things.  Marketing and PR is all and like gleaming used cars, there is often little of value under the hood.  Or, circus tricks are employed for applause, relying on shine and dazzle or in appeal to base and easy sentiment.

Most people know it isn't useful to accept things unexamined and on faith especially from those so invested.  But it's more the recognition of that interest that is the issue and recognising that interest - in its common forms of money, power and status - behind the scenes usually trumps whatever is divertingly on public show.  Scepticism is one of the most useful and underused intellectual tools so I find it healthier when there's a variety of opinion - of anything actually.  I like it when things are even-handed, balanced and since even-handed treatment of any subject is vanishingly rare, it's more common to have, and probably better when there is debate and diversity of opinion, true to its own colours.

Tanda of the Week  by Antti Suniala is a useful, interesting, balanced, open and probably influential blog about tango music that I keep up with regularly and actually, next time I do want to write responsively to a post from there.

 ¹Eugene Debs (pictured) was an early twentieth century American socialist, orator, labour union leader of strikes and opponent of American involvement in the First World War.  His actions in the latter two fields caused him to be imprisoned and disenfranchised for life.  Given his commitment to the voice of ordinary people to be heard, this was a hard and symbolic punishment. He was a radical, called an "enemy of the human race" by the New Yorker and a traitor to his country by Woodrow Wilson who said:  "He is a man of much personal charm and impressive personality, which qualifications make him a dangerous man calculated to mislead the unthinking and affording excuse for those with criminal intent." (New York Times. December 24, 1921)

Thanks to L Currey for permission to reuse the photo of this early printing.

Tango, trouble and "disrespect"

At the end of February, The Courier newspaper which circulates to about 50,000 in the central region of Scotland, published an article about the tango social dance I run in Perth.  Although it was a "Lifestyle" person-centered piece and I dislike that kind of attention, I did it because I wanted to publicise the new (not-for-profit) milonga I had started here.  also also wanted to say why I thought learning to dance socially was entirely possible, indeed preferable, to learning through classes.

When the article appeared it included an embarrassingly large photograph but a photo had been mandatory for the piece. Worse, the title referred to me as an "expert" tango dancer.  I had tried to get this removed but the paper stuck on that point. As a friend later pointed out to me, in "much of that kind of popular reporting of tango dance. ...newspapers' often say 'expert' and its means only 'someone who can can do it'." I considered it a small, if embarrassing, price to pay to spread the word about social tango dancing in my local area.  I had no reason to publicise the piece on social media or here, for the sake of it, not only for those reasons but also because some new people had heard about the group through the article so it had already achieved its purpose.

I am sceptical about "expertism" in some fields especially in the social sphere. I believe social learning and independent experimentation can take many people far. In the piece Berlin milongas: People and dancing I claim at most a "middling" dance ability. I am no expert tango dancer, would not want to be, would never make that claim personally and would immediately wonder why somebody wanted to make that claim.  Fortunately, few believe everything said in the papers. 

However, recently I was challenged about this article by someone who (rightly) mocked the "expert" line.  The challenge was that in the article I had been disrespectful towards everyone who teaches tango.  They said they did not understand why I was attending a practica when the piece said I was against practicas.  There is nothing against or about practicas in the piece. I think practicas as a form of social dancing are fine. 

I wasn't disrespectful and I am no threat.  I am not even competing for the money in instructors' pockets.  I am merely one of a small minority who believes in learning to dance socially by, well, dancing socially.  Disrespectful is trying to promote a tango class and workshop business model in a social dance group that specifically says and is well known for the philosophy "Learn to dance by dancing" not "learn to dance in classes by partnering with other people who can't dance".  Disrespectful is making personal remarks about an individual or implying unkind things about their dance or dismissing their views as inexperience. These are all personal, ad hominem and therefore disrespectful attacks. To dispute an idea is not disrespectful. If that were the case, as religious zealots would still have it, we could ring-fence any idea we didn't want contested and say arguing against it was disrespectful. And when people in power ring-fence ideas and say you can't argue with them we call that repressive, we call it an abuse of power. Eventually, we call it a dictatorship.

Fortunately people can hold and air their differing views in our society, without official penalty and sometimes without social penalty too. I was delighted at the weekend, in London, to enjoy lunch and conversation about ideas with an atheist libertarian at one end of the table and a conservative Reverend at the other.

I don't think those of us who hold contrary views should feel stifled from expressing them.  If anything, given we are a minority, and an understandably silent one, I think it is all the more important those views should be heard.

Who are we?  Well, it feels a bit like it felt being a "No" voter in the Scottish referendum except at that time we knew we might be about half the population.  Friends said to me then, on the quiet, we support "No" too, but we just don't want to, you know, say [in part because of the intimidation of and violence towards people and property that "No" voters experienced].  Many, in the social dance world, especially those who blog anonymously do not want the flak of going against the grain.  My ideas about how best to learn the kind of Argentine tango I like to dance are different from teachers, that's all.  Not disrespectful, just different.  Different from the majority, different from those with power and status. And airing those views isn't disrespectful either.  It's just unusual because not many people do it and more are afraid of causing waves in their class-based "communities". 

Actually, I don't even think that the dance I like to dance and the things taught in classes are the same dance. It sure doesn't feel like it. So if we renamed these dances say Argentine tango and British tango all these differences, disputes, ideas about disrespect could disappear because we would be talking about two different things.  But no-one goes to class to learn British tango.  They want to learn Argentine tango.

It is true that I do not believe that classes teach people how to dance the kind of tango that I like to dance.  Many, perhaps most people in Britain don't want that though - they want a kind of dance movement they are happy to call Argentine tango, despite that they pretty much ignore or don't care much, if at all, about the music, and they go to classes meet that need.  That kind of dance for me, feels like a series of islands which are sequences of steps with perhaps dead sea (walking) inbetween.  I confided to one guy who's been dancing for a year or so: "I like it more when you don't do the stuff you've learnt in class, when I can feel you're just yourself". He replied with the saddest thing I've heard in my tango dance life:  "But without moves, what have I got?" He travels miles for classes in place of local social dance events.

Classes also teach people to be aware of how they look and to dance, say, a dance with long, extended legs and decorations for the girl.  Plenty of people want to look elegant, the idea being that might make some people want to dance with you.  I used to think that.  But making yourself look good takes your attention away from the dance you are having now with your partner and that for me is what counts. So when I see decorations I immediately think, she cares more about how she looks than how she feels for her partner.  For the guy it's the show moves of planeos & aggressive sacadas, learning how to inflict voleos, colgadas and volcadas on girls who have little or no choice about whether to do these moves.

If you want to be a tango performer with the sequences that are used in tango performance to create a stylised look  then a class is the place to go. Besides that, I think there are many other excellent and valid reasons why people do tango dance classes.  I know a number of teachers who are warm, welcoming, fun, popular, great with people, they run social dances, play good music and have many other good qualities.  A few even extol the milonga: a new dancer was sitting between me and a very honest teacher.  I heard her tell them that the place they would really learn to dance was in the milonga. But what I believe about classes is separate from all of that.

I think, in fact I know, because I feel it, that classes ruin many people who would otherwise have been great dancers.  This is why I hold the views I do. To pretend I don't feel that would be lying.  I can't help but feel this and it is endlessly frustrating to me to find many new dancers whose natural sense of music and movement is so regularly and predictably ruined once they start doing classes at which point I often stop wanting to dance with them. The problem is worse with men than with women but it affects both.  I danced with a new guy who had a gentle embrace, a nice connection, was not over-ambitious and - praises! - was tall. When I next danced with him a few months later  it wasn't the same at all.  I felt all his new and contrived moves from class as I was more or less gently shoved about, and I felt an all too familiar sorrow for the loss of the fledgling dancer. You've been doing classes?" "Oh, yes!" he said. 

The reason I want to share these views is because in Britain today classes have a large monopoly over new dancers. More people start to learn to dance in class than walk in to a milonga on spec or come along (and come back again) with friends.  Perhaps when the balance tips in Britain from a class culture to a milonga culture that will no longer be the case. But this present monopoly is destructive because, proportionally, very few new dancers make the transition from class to milonga. Perhaps that's because the milonga is too intimidating and when they do eventually get to the milonga their dance has usually got so messed up they're not fun to dance with. Or maybe in class it was just too weird to be that up-close-and personal with a stranger so they gave up. Or the people just don't have a good enough time in class to want to take it elsewhere. Or the time they have in class is good enough for them not to want to dance socially...

I have found that most people in Britain today believe that the route to social tango dancing is through class instruction.  Among those who do classes almost no-one will change their views because they have generally invested in them too much time, energy and money and have subscribed to the false idea that dancing tango is "hard".  It is a feature of today's society that class instruction is the way to learn just about anything.  The class market is a captive and eager market.

For some reason, people think it is easier to reach for their wallet and a class than it is to walk in to a (cheaper) milonga, get a drink, sit, watch and listen to the music.  I think that is a far better way to start learning than to self-consciously walk zombie-like about a room with someone you may not want to be that close to.  I think so because to dance well, I believe you need to know the music you dance to.  The feeling that makes people dance well comes from the music. By watching people who can dance you get an idea of what the dance is like.  Without knowing the music, without an idea of what the dance is, how can you hope to dance it? By finding people with whom there is a mutual desire, as opposed to a forced, class imperative, to dance together there is more likely to be a genuine dance. I remember the same person who said I had been disrespectful also said, a long time ago, that you can tell who will dance best on a floor by the way they first embrace.  There is much truth in this.

I dance with a lot of new dancers, in the dance I have been running locally and in milongas, practicas and the odd lesson I have gone to more recently, out of curiosity.  At one of these I danced with two brand new women dancers.  They were both able to dance nicely and naturally in our first dances.   They could easily and quickly have become lovely dancers as most new dancers do, given the right opportunity. But one was harangued by an instructor into sidestepping (because turning naturally is apparently too hard for beginners), so that by the end of the lesson when I next danced with her she was totally unable to turn naturally as she had before.  The other dancer had had a bubbly, happy confidence and a great connection. When I next saw her at a milonga two days later she had been lectured and thrown about the floor all night by the instructor.  I tried to dance with her.  Her head was down, she was looking at her feet and could hardly move.  I didn't recognise her by her demeanour or her movements and felt stricken. "Close your eyes, it's easier" I attempted. In many self-conscious brand new dancers I have found this simple act magically removes or reduces that natural self-consciousness that many feel.  The quality of their dance leaps in feel and they report a better experience. But it requires much trust on their part and much care of that trust from their partner.  "No, no, I can't." she replied.  "Why not?" I asked, startled at the unusual response.  "Because I won't be able to concentrate." "On what?" "On all the things I'm supposed to remember to do".  I remember that awful feeling from when I did classes as the "follower" - a term I dislike.  This once natural dancer had lost all that initial relaxed confidence.  I saw another dancer also being jerked about by the same person in one of the ugliest parodies of dance I can remember.  I notice now I have unconsciously avoided dancing with these women which is a great shame because they seem to be lovely people and I like dancing with people I like.

It isn't just this instructor, it's what happens when people focus on movement, when they concentrate on their bodies more than on the music and the other person and when they aren't treated well by partners.  I see it every time I go out, or go to a class or practica.  When I go to good milongas I usually see a few couples really listening to the music and dancing with each other fluidly, as one, that rare creature with one body and four legs. These are the people who are hypnotically watchable.  It's not something you reach through classes, it is a totally different way of dancing, one that has nothing to do with classes.  

How is it that some people who did do classes become good dancers?  I think years of experience in social dancing in the milongas eventually rubs off the effect of classes for the few that survive the transition from class to milonga.

If I were to be more open, and yet still not be disrespectful or guilty of ad hominem argument.  I might venture the rarely mentioned fact that tango classes are in fact usually about business, about making people feel they are making progress in learning to dance Argentine tango so that they come back for more.  Just about everyone then becomes locked into a psychology based on the paradigm of their dance looking good instead of the feeling of the music and the dance.  It's a concept that is about improvement, attainment and success over enjoyment. That approach relies on people believing that dancing tango is hard but fun  The idea is if it's hard it's worthwhile and brings status from improving and "earning" the ludicrous "reward" of dancing with good dancers. And if it's fun you keep doing it so that you progress from beginner through the levels spending a great deal of money in the process.  The idea that dancing tango socially is about about relaxed and entirely improvised movement that springs directly from the music without need of any intermediary other than a partner that can already dance never really gets a look-in.  The reason for that is because there isn't much business to be had by beginners just dancing socially with people who can dance.

As it stands though, some dancers say they prefer to travel sometimes far to a class (where they will dance badly and deafly yet have a strong and persistent illusion of "progress"), than stay and dance locally and socially.  Simply, they actually prefer classes to dances.  I find that killing, terribly sad. At a guided practica recently with perhaps twenty five people, few of them new, everyone had to pair up and every single person did so before listening to hear what the music was.  Because in class music doesn't really matter at all. A friend told me the other day that they attended a class where music did not feature at all.

If I were to be not disrespectful but just irked and honest, I would talk about the damage that classes do and that I see new dancer after new dancer ruined  by self-consciousness, made deaf to the music in class, turned into sub-beginners; new dancers that I might otherwise have been able to dance with, new dancers that ought to be the strong future of a local group of social tango dancers.

Generally though, I just try to promote the virtues of social dancing, which I do mostly by dancing socially and hope that some new dancers slip through the class net and learn to dance with the rest of us who welcome new social dancers.  

Why I don't need saving, or, a response to "Tango: Let's break the rules"

Tango:  Let's break the rules was posted on Facebook by Yann Lohr and reprinted here.

It's well intentioned, I'm sure.  At first I wondered if the piece was a spoof and if the 60 odd shares of the English version were mostly ironic.  But then I saw it's heading up to 200 shares of the original French version. After reading some of the comments I began to have second thoughts, especially when people as august as Melina Sedo espouse related ideas.  My response, in summary, is thanks, but no thanks.

I still saw dance partners sitting all night long... as if nothing could ever change in tango.

Some of us enjoy sitting, chatting, watching, listening. We are not all desperate to dance and we certainly don't want to be harangued into it or "given back our rights" to make us get up. This sort of stance sends the message to many men that you will be doing us poor things a favour if you grant us a dance. Thanks but I'll make up my own mind, when and with whom.

Real empathy would be swapping roles. Be a woman for a night. Dance that role. Sit and wait, try out your mirada. See how far you get. Encourage your guy friends to try the same thing. Trying it out might lead to a genuine understanding and then perhaps change though it may not be the kind you anticipate.

Is Tango still a place where some of women’s rights are denied.... your RIGHT to dance 

A right? Dancing is not a right. Making men dance is not a right. Dancing is a pleasure. Being chosen is an exquisite pleasure on both sides. Women choose, just as well and as much as men. Women choose yes they will dance or no they will not. It's interesting that this post seems to assume that women just do dance if asked. Why is that? I don't think it's because we all do. Perhaps some guys just think we all do. Why would that be? Because some guys won't notice, won't brook a refusal?

the RIGHTS of women, i.e. to invite who they want to dance with.

The way this reads, despite the reference to cabeceo at the end, it sounds like a direct invitation is what's implied. Of course women can ask guys if they want to. Some do. I do sometimes though if I do ordinarily it's men I know.  But men, like women, don't like to be put on the spot by an overt invitation and may refuse with all the avoidable difficulty and embarrassment that can cause.  Why don't some women invite guys, directly or by look? Because many of us don't want to. Why? Because we prefer to be invited. We understand that the dance needs to be wanted on both sides. Women can and do invite men to invite them.  That is the mirada and cabeceo in operation.  How is this disempowering? 

As men, we know that if we pay for admission, we WILL dance, no matter the size of the ballroom or the number of the dancers.

Good dancing is not about quantity.

or possibly you train at home, in class or during practice for your ochos, boleos, or ganchos to be the queen of the night

These would be excellent reasons for a guy not to invite a girl.

I get the sense from this quarter that after I've been "saved" from not dancing, the next treat in store might be to be kindly taught on the floor by a man who knows what he's talking about and who wants to empower me in how I could improve the look and feel of my dancing which would improve my "chances" of dancing ...

Think of coming to the milonga with the confidence that you WILL dance, because you have the social right to invite the partners you like or want to discover.
Or you could come to the milonga with the everyday confidence that you will dance because you're nice to dance with, because you're known where you dance or perhaps because you're not demanding. Or perhaps you'll come with the confidence that you'll have a nice time because you'll enjoy watching the floor, listening to the music, chatting with your friends because you don't actually feel like dancing and certainly don't want to be press-ganged into it.

Can you feel again the enthusiasm you may have had when you first stepped in a Milonga telling yourself "tonight, it's all night long!"Mmm. "Sore feet, aching legs, bed too late, up too early, I didn't get a chance to chat to my girl friends and three of my toes are out of action for a week because of the clodhoppers I accepted...."

I've been many place, it's experience speaking
Experience of being never knowingly refused, by the sounds of things.

...outside Argentina where the problem may not be that important,
I'm curious why would women sit any less in Argentina? They're nicer to dance with? More men dance? If those things were true, they would be interesting in themselves.

We know very little about how to use [cabeceo] correctly

Actually, I find it the norm in milongas where you find good dancers

The writer is of course free to set up a milonga where it's the thing for women to invite men. It'd be genuinely interesting to see the kind of dancing that goes on there. I and many are happy with the way things stand though, thanks.

Image courtesy of Rossographer via Creative Commons license.

Equal difference

Sometimes you hear it said that the traditional etiquette, of men inviting women to dance, and of the invitation being wordless and from a respectful distance, is out of date, that it disempowers women from invitation or at least does not give them the same equality as men. The mirada, the look from the women, signifies desire to dance. Traditionally, it is an invitation for the man to invite her to dance. It is not the same as the cabeceo, the nod from the guy, which is both desire to dance and invitation.

Guy-girl stuff, about difference and compatibility, happens in the milonga, even if only on the floor. Quite what that is or how it works is not that clear. Were it not the case though you would see a far greater mix of same-sex combinations on the floor. I like that in the milongas here in the UK I can dance as the girl or the guy.  I also like that the milonga can powerfully re-establish the difference between men and women, after work where we are all ostensibly equal. You still hear it said that at work women gain equality by sacrificing or denying things to do with being a woman, choices about family, dress, attitude. You especially hear about this in places like the City. On the flip side, it is not a new point that asserting femininity, in advertisements, in magazines, is often done in a degrading or an unrealistic way, not in a way that promotes equal respect for the sexes.  

But this is not necessarily true in the milonga. Women can be very feminine and very equal in the milonga and in the dance, never more so than when sitting opposite men. Sometimes it has happened that we are women, not sitting alone, but chatting together. By chance we are sitting opposite some guys. The previous week we might all have been men and women, friends, sitting, chatting on the same side of the room. This week we are two different yet compatible tribes, watching each other with the tension, the pleasure, the possibility of invitation to dance and the option to accept between us.

Yet women allow themselves to be dubbed "followers" when the dance is about togetherness. Some women allow men, who are not friends, to walk up and invite them, making a real choice about whether they really want to dance now, with this person, difficult. Or they allow men to do things to them that are uncomfortable; to pull awkward moves, do stunts. They let themselves be pushed around on the floor or be treated in a degrading, inelegant way. It is stating the obvious that by dancing with these guys the women who accept them encourage that behaviour that presumably continues off the floor, though perhaps not with them. By the same token it is not encouraging behaviour that is fun but careful, respectful. It is a wonderful thing, too rarely used where I am, that through exercising the feminine choice that the milonga allows, things can be more equal and the standard of dance will also inevitably rise accordingly.

With thanks to Jean Gouders for permission to use his cartoon.