Begging

"A plea for a solo leader thinking of going! I've registered on my own as solo follower, but this means that I will likely be put on waiting list and may not even get in - or that if I do get in it will be at last minute and I'll have to pay high costs for hotel+transport. Anyone out there that can help me out by agreeing to register with me to improve chances of getting in? Please? Pretty please?"

I saw this today on Facebook.  It's a woman begging for help to get into a tango marathon.  I know the people who run this marathon.  They have always been courteous to me.  I never 'applied' to go to that marathon because I knew there was a selection process and like many I couldn't bear to do something so undignified as be 'selected' to join, especially by people you know and have danced with.  I heard the marathon might have been fun if you were in the young European set but older, local dancers I spoke to who went found it snobbish and cliquey.  I think it's probably the same experience for many people in many similar events. 

I don't think it does to pin your hopes on any tango event or even milonga.  It's just too unpredictable - the venue, the floor, the music, the sound, the hosts, the atmosphere, the dancing, the things people say.  Years of experience tells me don't make a milonga the focal point of any day and then you can only ever be pleasantly surprised if things turns out well.  For me, now and I see the same in many people who have danced for years - going to a milonga is a optional extra, something you do if your friends are going or you want to do something in the evening after a day doing something else.

I went to the marathon in Sheffield after Christmas because I was invited - a completely different thing.  I went to two enucentros in Spain because I had heard they were less likely to do that kind of selection and in any case, for one of them it was the first time they were running it, when organisers are less likely to be choosy.  I am going to the Totally in Tango even in Toulouse in July, but the organisers makes a point of not having a waiting list for all the stress that these entail. Besides, it's for dual role dancers, who, if they are anything like me are much less fussy about things like gender balance - one of the main reasons for women ending up trailing on a waiting list.

But this poor woman, reduced to begging to strangers, in public.  She handily lists the disadvantages of a selection process for us:  the inconvenience and indignity of being put a waiting list, of waiting for a man.  Woman in the know don't wait for men.  I remember reading that of the protagonist in Tango & Chaos years ago.  They use their power so that, if anything, the men wait on them.

And this being put on a waiting list, for a dance in which decorum has a status, where begging for dances is unseemly.  I'm sure this woman doesn't beg for dances, so why does she beg to get in to an event?  Perhaps she thinks her enthusiasm will move the organisers.  Even once on a waiting list she knows she may not get in or only at the last minute when she will have to pay through the nose for travel and accommodation.    Eugh.  Why do it?  

Perhaps, once in, they pay you!