Guys learning: a case in point

There was a typical example last night of a young guy learning to dance in the woman's role in the milonga. He originally encountered tango in a bar in another country. The local tango club used to go there  - after lessons I think he said -  and they put on tango music in the bar. Somebody gave him access to their music which was mostly electrotango and he loved that music. He didn't dance then, feeling as though he knew nothing when everyone could dance (apparently) so well. I felt sad none of these experienced people had introduced him to dance.  But later, he found his own way.

He was a beginner. We talked about learning. I asked which guy's style he liked best in the milonga that night.  He mentioned a nice man who has a nueveo style. It fitted with his preference for electrotango.  I was a little surprised that a beginner could pick out a style they liked.  My memory as a beginner is that everyone else just looked good.  I mentioned to the subject of this respect later that the beginner was keen to learn from him. When I said later to the beginner that the guy might be willing he said: Oh,  I expect he didn't want to give away his moves.  This was in fact exactly what the guy had said but I would be surprised if he didn't help him.

The young guy was keen to explore another scene known for the numbers of young people, where they also dance to a lot of alternative music.  I asked him if he had 'followed' much. Not much in tango apparently, nobody really did in his area. But he had once danced lindy hop as a beginner and found dancing as the man so traumatic that when he came to dance blues he had insisted on dancing in the woman's role, which had worked for him.  I was impressed he had all the right instincts for the kind of music and dancing he wanted.

Since he worked in sales he said he had realised when a tango teacher started talking to him about private lessons that there was a vested interest and he replied that he wanted to dance with more people first. When we danced, he was in the woman's role and he closed his eyes. Later, he came over to invite me to dance again. I hesitated because he was not ready to dance the man's role and invitation from a man - outside the queer tango community - is often an invitation to dance in the woman's role, but because he had tried dancing as the woman and because he was a beginner I agreed. Maybe he saw the hesitation because he immediately said I could 'lead' if I wanted, and we stuck with that. He was open-minded. I thought he was courageous though I doubt he thought of himself that way. When I had arrived at this milonga my first question had been whether there were any men who danced both roles but the answer had been: not really. I did not see any other men dancing both roles and  - apart from one guy who left early - he was the only man I wanted to dance with that night. In everything he said and did I found good instincts. 

There were people at the milonga who danced other dances.  In the cortinas, the DJ sometimes let them run so these people could dance their other dances. It was informal and fun.  Early in the evening we all watched a nice, quiet couple who dance lindy hop very well dancing in a corner of the floor to a track that started as a cortina but became their own private dance that others soon became aware of.  Everyone loved it.   I knew then it would be the highlight of the evening and while I danced a couple of good tandas that evening, it was.