Monday 3 July 2023

Machismo (III): another view

Swastik Arora
                                                  

 - No, it's true, said a gentle English/ Scottish friend, referring to women being the cause of male machismo

I blinked in disbelief.

Earlier, we had seen the Mela being dismantled in Kelvingrove park in Glasgow.  He pronounced it me-la, with a pause and a faint lilt.  

- Why do you pronounce it like that?

- It's a Punjabi word.

- Are you bilingual?

A couple of weeks later it transpired he was trilingual, speaking, or at least understanding Hindi as well 

- Yes.

He has a lovely embrace. He will dance in the woman's role with me, but only once - on my recommendation and with great reluctance - did he ever dance with a man. 

What do you mean "It's true"? And how do you know? Have you been to Latin America?

- Same culture, he said, pointing his thumb to his chest as he drove me through the city.  The mums don't want their boys  growing up not macho.

Why not? 

- Because that would mean they were weak, soft.

- So I guess gay is out of the question then?

- Oof! 

- Is that why you don't like dancing with men, to learn to dance tango?

- Yes.

He'd grown up being taught that kind of thing was wrong. 

- And why none of the guys I've met from the eastern Mediterranean - Jordan, Syria, Palestine, Turkey -  are willing to dance in the woman's role with a guy, to learn the dance - even though that's how men in Argentina learnt traditionally?

- Probably, yes.






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