A rock and a hard place

On this day in September 2020, to reach a hidden, rocky pool, the children had to negotiate the water tumbling over boulders.  In particular, they had to navigate across these slippery rocks with a pool on either side. The long-legged older teens managed it with ease.  My younger son managed with the impulse of the thrill, the challenge and not a little bravado.  But once wet and cold from playing on the rope swing at the pool, I recall his tears and fear on the return crossing.

The boys often set themselves these challenges.

One of the hardest lessons for many in the milonga is the acceptance that desire to dance may not be mutual. The rock: they don't want to dance with you. The hard place: You don't know why. And you can get stuck there. Or you can start blaming people for being e.g. snobby. Accepting that unequal desire is a huge part of life in and out of the milongas is a difficult pill for many people to learn to swallow, but it is a necessary one.

It happens in all kinds of relationships all the time: Do I want this relationship? On what basis do I want it?

These situations, "stuck between a rock and a hard place", are difficult. Last week I remember reading about a woman whose husband of nearly fifty years divorced her when she was in her seventies.  Now in her nineties she lives happily and well. She said It's not a matter of getting over stuff, it's a matter of living through it. If you can live through the issues that you have been faced with, they become your best teachers.