Taking risks

I think this was the day my son slipped off this rope swing, from quite a height and landed in a patch of nettles. He was lucky and I felt guilty, bringing him to this risk, but aside from some bruises he was OK.  In the days and weeks before this, this swing had afforded us all a lot of fun.  When I look at some of the photos of my kids climbing trees and swinging on ropes, I can't regret the joy and look of achievement in their faces but equally I can't help but feel that a) we were lucky, b) these activities, after being normal for millennia, are going the way of riding bikes without helmets; in the UK few people do that now, with good reason. We have become more risk averse, especially with our children. After all, fall out of a tree and your chances of escaping injury or death are not great but how often does it happen?

You are at a milonga where you don't know anyone. Should you take a risk, be less discriminating in who you accept dances from, for fear of scaring all the guys away? I have regretted, many times, lowering my standards.  In the milonga, as in life, a woman who is hard to get is a challenge for a guy and these guys can often dance well. Equally, in the early and even middle years of my tango dance journey I have sat and not danced in many milongas and been miserable.

I accepted a dance with an experienced guy recently at salsa. Gradually it dawned on me that he was drunk but by the time I was sure and was deciding what to do, the dance was over. It was an excruciating experience and thank heavens in salsa people usually seem to dance just one track together.

The next time I saw him, he invited me but I wasn’t sure, particularly whether or not he was sober and I didn't accept - one bitten, twice shy. Later that same evening I saw him playing percussion very well, clearly sober.

At the next event he did not invite me, understandably. Later, I said to him he played well and asked if he was a musician. He said not, just that he had been dancing a long time. I said why I hadn’t danced with him the last time whereupon he invited me and I accepted. 

There is the flexibility of youth, which tries everything and a more careful flexibility that comes with experience and exercising judgement.