'Profile'

Tambako the Jaguar

In the milonga I was chatting with a woman who wasn't dancing much and sitting in that chilly space somewhere between fear and dignity.  

- How's it going? I asked, referring to her tango journey.  She had been dancing about a year. 

- OK, she said, doubtfully.  

- How do you mean?

- Well, I don't know that I have the right profile for these sorts of events.  

- Profile? What's that?

- Well, I don't dance much.  

- I don't dance much! How's my profile?

I suppose the unspoken subtext was that one of us seemed fairly happy and at ease and the other, not so much.

- Well, you seem to know a lot of people.

- Actually, not so many.  I don't come out that much and there are lot of newer people I don't know. But I do chat. 

She had felt intimidated by the dancing.  To make her feel better, and because it was true, I tried to say that the dancing wasn't actually that great, but you are talking across two different realities and it wasn't going to be much use.  What is good for one person, isn't for the next. 

I said I remembered feeling that way too, for a long time. It can be hard to go to the milongas outside of a couple or without a group of friends, or even just a friend.  She had seemed to be with a friend but the friend had migrated to other parts of the room.  I said, I stopped feeling bad when I realised I could have a good time in the milonga, regardless of dancing. There is so much of interest - watching people's behaviour, and especially, the chat. 

A light seemed to go on. She laughed.  I'll have to try to get into that mindset .  The trouble is, I love dancing. 

I remembered that addiction too.