Too polite?

Colombians have many ways of saying "you"  - tú  , usted (in many different registers), vos, su merced. They are used in different parts of the country and in different contexts.  Su merced for instance is used to convey respect and politeness and in rural areas, but not exclusively. I think it would generally be thought more respectful than usted.

Some Colombians were discussing the way they use these forms which led on to the following:

A:....La cultura latina de bajar la cabeza…porque eso me acordé de su merced y de vuestra merced y toda esa cosa, y si uno va, por ejemplo, a europa siento que ellos casi no piden el favor, no piden. No están en esa actitud, de “su merced”, de esa “a tu órden”, de “a tu servicio”. Reconociamos [reconocemos] que, por ejemplo, el mexicano, el boliviano, todo está como nosotros, los colombianos, ecuatorianos, somos muy de esa “por favor”, “quiere usted”, como muy pedir, y muy como…

M: Como sumiso....

A: “A su servicio”, sumiso”, sí y esos en ese lenguaje.

M: Y eso es como “su merced” es un poco…

A: …Viene de ahí

M: …Como respeto, pero también es como su merced, del patrón.

A: No hay casi que ver. No es como groseros a los otros, pero…

*

A: ...the Latin culture of bowing the head, doffing the cap…it reminds me of "your grace" and "your honor" and all that, and if you go, for example, to Europe, I feel that they almost never use deferential terms, they don't make their requests the way we do. They don't have that habit of "your grace," of "at your service," of "at your command." The Mexican, the Bolivian, are all like us, the Colombians, Ecuadorians, we are very much in the way of saying "please," "would you," requesting deferentially, and very, like…

M: Like, submissive.

A: "At your service," submissive, yes, and things of that order.

M: And it's like "your grace" is a bit…

A: …It [the habit of great politeness] comes from there [the habit of using terms like su merced / your grace].

M: …Like respect, but it's also like the "your grace," of the master.

A: There's almost no equivalent [in Europe]. It's not like they are being rude to others, but…

Clearly, they thought it was, but were maybe too polite to say outright that we just don't realise how abrupt we are.

There are many jokes on social media reels about how almost excessively polite Colombians are. 

In many Latin American cultures, including Colombian culture, it is common to use polite, formal expressions when asking for something or offering it, and other deferential terms that convey respect and humility. There is an observation that Europeans are less likely to use formal or deferential language in their requests which can make their interactions seem more direct or even brusque to someone from a Latin American background. 

I remember a Colombian making various intimations about the French and people in the US, that they just aren't as polite, whereas I often have found individual North Americans to be very polite. I had the distinct sense that he probably lumped us in the UK with them too. 

There was a general sense with him that you (all: North Americans, Europeans, Australians) think you're so great.  But you're just rude and aggressive and wrong. At the time I found the remarks patronising and rude in themselves - they probably were - but I also now think they were probably correct. 

Hypocritically, as an individual and coming from one of the bloodiest countries on Earth, he said we, collectively, the Global North I think he meant, were aggressive and rude.  This was long before October 7th 2023, and yet on this - and other things - he was probably, when you compare our manners to Latin American courtesy, quite often right.