Refusing walk-ups

Refusal

This is my son, in a campsite near Oban many years ago.  Walking himself to the bathroom first thing in the morning was simply too much  so he simply lay down and refused.  Refusal is the topic of this post.

Some milongas have a culture where cabeceo (invitation to dance by look) is not common.  This could be because there was never an Argentinian culture or tradition there to start with, because there is poor lighting or poor lines of sight, the host is not in favour or because it is class-dominated. In class, choice of partner is often discouraged so walking up to people is tolerated or even the norm.  

But there are good reasons to refuse walk-ups

1) It goes against the evolved and accepted milonga behaviours and traditions which work well and for good reason.   In the wider context of the milonga therefore, it is, in essence bad manners. 

2) Individually too it is poor behaviour: the inviter to put the invitee under pressure.

3) There is a ripple effect:  some other guys will now see the woman who accepts walk-ups as prey.

4) The quality of dancing from walk-ups is invariably poor.  

Refuse walk-ups in this culture and you could have a very empty night.  Instead you will need to enjoy watching the floor, listening to the music, chatting and meeting people.  You may with good reason wonder if this is the sort of culture where you are likely to find good dancing.

That said, we have a great experienced dancer on our local scene. He said in his country walking up was the norm.  But he has adapted here and has always invited me by look.